Funniest Diving/Fishing stories

The story about being chased by fisheries on the "caught by fisheries" post had me reflect on a very funny event that happened to me and my best mate dave years back.

He used to work for a mercedes dealership as a diesel mechanic. The Boss/Owner was "F" and he was a happily married man with 2 kids.

We had a dive boat from heaven with its own compressor. So often dived twice a day. Inbetween we fished trying for the luxury of Surf and reef with Dhu and crays.

There were six of us and we drew straws to buddy up and then tossed a coin to see who would be the lead diver.

On the day in question we explored the morning and found a magnificent reef at the back of Rotto about 2k's out from narrow neck. We didnt score well on the morning dive, but had 2 nice dhu's onboard, and after discovering the honey hole late in the first dive returned for crays. It was a beautiful glass day and we had the place all to ourselves apart from a nice yacht about 400m anchored closer to shore.

Now I drew Dave, and lost the coin. I sighed, because the lead diver was the one with the choice. He could decide what we did under water and we all know he was a notoriously bad underwater navigator, which always ment a long swim back to the boat at the end off the dive.

This day the water was crystal clear with 20+m vis. We quickly filled our bags with crays(and I recall the limit was more than nowadays) and dave decided to explore more. After the tanks started to get low I was amazed to see a hull in the distance, but on closer approach I soon realised that it wasnt our boat. This was a yacht.

As we surfaced about 10m away we were greeted by a fantastic site. 3 nubile girls, 2 topless and the other as mother nature intended, sipping champagne on the deck, with "F".

Dave without even thinking exclaimed "good day Frosty!!" to be met with  frantic action onboard covering up etc. Now it was very obvious that none of the girls was Mrs "F" and that something was going on here.

Now there was various chatter going on betwee F and Dave about his secrecy or job loss.

Not all was lost to Dave and I as we were taken back to our boat 400m away still with secrecy clauses discussed, chatting away to the now more clad girls.

On reflection latter we were pissing ourselves at the thoughts that would have gone through F's mind. He was planning and succeeding at a dirty weekend, with 3 rather stunning girls, parked his yacht away from prying eyes, to just have 2 divers surface next to his boat. NOT only that, it was one of his employees that knew his wive well. He must have thought what have I done to deserve this, and how in hell could that happen.

His facial expression is not discribable in text but it was something to be behold.

Dave kept his promise (and his Job) but we still Kak ouselves thinking off this events, and the shear odd's of something like this happening.

And boy oh boy were the girls stunning, but wetsuits are not designed for a 20yr olds lack off body control when it comes to our friend below.

I dont think this could be repeated even if planned.

 

Hope others have funny stories.

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"I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact!!" _ Elon Musk


Lamby's picture

Posts: 3145

Date Joined: 04/08/09

Good chuckle from this!

Mon, 2015-11-30 17:56

Good chuckle from this! Unfortunately cannot relay my funniest fishing story from one of our trips to the Montes.. not exactly appropriate but man I still crack up to this day

crano's picture

Posts: 694

Date Joined: 04/11/09

Lamby

Mon, 2015-11-30 20:15

 Go on,tell the story. We are all waiting.

Lamby's picture

Posts: 3145

Date Joined: 04/08/09

Mate, no chance & I am sure

Mon, 2015-11-30 20:20

Mate, no chance & I am sure we all have those stories!!

Posts: 5981

Date Joined: 17/06/10

Rare octopus

Mon, 2015-11-30 20:24

On-board one of her majesties grey funnel liners in the great Australian bight. A load of scientists where on-board doing some dragging of the bottom dragging up globules of magnesium or some such stuff.

One drag with the trawl brings up a palm size occy scientists go of their trolley, look at that they exclaim, that's the red backed 9 legged egg shaped octopus and this is only the second time one has been seen.

So off they race to get a specimen jar from below decks, jack tar who is bored out of his mind comes along spots this bait sized occy and before you can say "well bugger me" he puts in on a hook and flings it over the side.

Still very excited our scientists emerge from below decks and start looking for this super rare occy, all on deck are asked to get on their hands and knees and help look for this thing.

Mean while our young jack tar is still fishing and not interested in what is going on around him,or listening, next thing this young bloke lets out an almighty scream of "I'm on" and after a short fight brings up a very good size flathead with, and yep you guested it a couple of mangled up bits of tentacle hanging out of it's mouth.

He proudly turns around and shows all and sundry on the forecastle what a great catch he has made. The scientists are all gob smacked speechless and just about in tears, non pulsed our young jack tar takes the fish off and chucks it back over the side before any one can gather their breath I have never seen the upper decks of any ship cleared of people so quickly in all my life.

Frome 3 decks down you could plainly hear this young bloke have his future read to him and it sounded mighty grim I can tell you.

When I last saw him he was a chief petty officer.

Westy74's picture

Posts: 225

Date Joined: 23/11/13

 I bet he was F'd in more

Mon, 2015-11-30 20:25

 I bet he was F'd in more ways than one!  Great story.