Friday Funnys


sea-kem's picture

Posts: 14853

Date Joined: 30/11/09

 I went to the  pub last

Fri, 2015-01-09 10:58

 I went to the  pub last night and saw an obese chick dancing on a table. I said, "Great legs."  
She giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

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Love the West!

Posts: 286

Date Joined: 21/07/14

Eyesight

Fri, 2015-01-09 11:14

 

A recent article in the Dominion Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued Wellington Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied: "Mr Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.”

 

Lastchance's picture

Posts: 1272

Date Joined: 02/02/09

Why do Chicken Coups only

Fri, 2015-01-09 13:25

Why do Chicken Coups only have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 doors they would be a chicken sedan!

ChrisG's picture

Posts: 558

Date Joined: 30/12/11

 Man walked in to a bar with

Fri, 2015-01-09 18:26

 Man walked in to a bar with a steering wheel hanging off the front of his pants....bar tender says "hey mate you have a steering wheel hanging off the front of your pants!" Man replies "yer I know....its driving me'nuts!"

 

Brock O's picture

Posts: 3163

Date Joined: 11/01/08

ChrisG

Fri, 2015-01-09 18:45

 

I'm sure this is not funny, but can you tell me how you got that lure stuck in you hand?

ChrisG's picture

Posts: 558

Date Joined: 30/12/11

 Helping a first time on a

Fri, 2015-01-09 19:20

 Helping a first time on a boat pommy angler de-hook his first long tail tuna in a 3m swell. Fish got the mad death shakes and he dropped the fish and I caught it and the hook in my hand before it hit the deck....

Brock O's picture

Posts: 3163

Date Joined: 11/01/08

ooochh

Fri, 2015-01-09 21:48

 

 Aye...blooby english!!, sure looks deep! Ill put that in the memory bank.

Dale's picture

Posts: 7930

Date Joined: 13/09/05

Fri, 2015-01-09 18:44

 An Irishman was running dive boat and an Aussie guy asked him, do you know why we go backwards when going into the water, the Irishman said sure, if you went forwards, you'd still be in the boat.

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"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."

Mr Wolf

 

 

Geoff78's picture

Posts: 324

Date Joined: 05/03/13

 very good.

Fri, 2015-01-09 18:51

 very good.