Im goin to respect my mate on this one and not mention his name but this story is 100% true i swear to God!!!!!
fishing down east perth (old bunbury bridge) my mate got bored and decided to climb the fence of the burswood golf coarse and fish in the lake coz it runs into the river a might have big bream.He was right there were bream in there and as we were packin up to go i then heard screams and moans he staggerd over the fence holding his stomach sayn "get me strait to hospitle!!! " i asked what happend!!! he said that he got snagged on the rope that surrounds the lake (i think its to catch golf balls it sits on the surface) and he was pulling back with all his might and snapp!!!!! i said did it get you in the guts? he said no it got me in the nuts and i heard a pop and my testies are no longer in my sac!!!! so rushed him to royal perth,he kept blacking out from the pain and screamin even in as we got in the waitn room he was yelling "get me help now!!!"
The doc rushed him in strait away then called for his girlfriend but she had just gone down the shop while she was waitn so i went in and i never forget what i seen next,4 nurses or doctors all looking under his gown at his "tool kit" i didnt want to look so i asked whats the verdict ,thay said "its serious ,we shaved the testical and the ultrasound shows that the testical inside the sac has torn in half and his right testical is the size of a large peach and blue /green !!!" no joke!!!!!
He had to have anti erection pills for 2 months and had the testical removed . Now we now never pull hard on a snagged line!!

Not sure I enjoyed it.

When we where kids in South Africa we often caught yellow eye mullet for the big blokes, ie fathers to rig as live bait to try and catch Cob (our Mullaway). We kept them in a net alive, and then the oldies would sit in their deck chairs, with Rods and OH reels, drinking Black velvet, and we would have to paddle the bait out into a deep channel where the Mullas where. It was about a 300m paddle.

This day I paddled the baits out, with  mullet in a bucket between my legs rigged. My job was to take each bait out, drop it in the channel and then paddle back. I did two trips, and then got my fathers. I paddled out, but about 200m out I didnt realize WTF was happening to the drunks onshore. The reel (I think an old Penn OH) got a beautiful (not) crows nest and jammed. They were screaming at me to stop but I didnt hear them.

When the slack in the line finally became tight the mullet leapt out of the bucket and the hook pinned me midthigh, and proceeded to make a bee line for the jewels, ripping skin as it went.

I was desperately back paddling and inbetween paddles try and protect the jewels. By this stage the hook had lodged itself about an inch from the nurries and I was in a rank mood when i got closer to shore, with all off the old farts lying in heaps laughing at my predicament.

Luckily they had some Docs among them, but no medicine, so then had to further have the little dignity I had as a nine year old stripped by lying bum starkers infront off a crowd whilst they removed the hook. I remember well the feeling off a hook being cut, and as it was to deep to pull out, pushed through. I think the whole caravan Park heard that one.

I wasnt laughing at all at the time, but now I can see the humour from there point of view. It must have looked and sounded bloody funny when I was batling to stop going forward, whilst screaming and protecting nurries.

Haha, sounds ridiculous..Did Dave get it to the boat in the end?

Not in the same category, but somehow managed to attach a  big, furiously head shaking flattie with both trebles to my groin while wading. Had me hopping around like a fool with the flatty between my legs and my mate pissing himself royally.

only mildly amusing but hey will contibute anyways.

while tying a small i think was a size 6 long shank hook on light line the knot pulled tight and my grip slipped and the hook went stright into the tip of my finger, as it was a long shank and down to the bend in the hook directly at the tip of my finger i wasnt to keen on trying to pull it around to cut the shank off.

my female companion at the time could do nothing more than start laughing.

quick call to my local doc and having them say they may struggle to get me a booking that day, then me explaining my situation and obviously not wanting to sit around the hospital emergency room, also wanting this bloody thing out of my finger they said yeah we can fit you in.

down to the doc, local anaesthetic ready for a small cut hook out simple...

not making an excuse here but had a big one the night before, pretty dehydrated, hung ova, hadnt had a bite to eat....

as the doc made this tiny cut as i watched the cutting, sawing motion i almost blacked out....

nurse got me some water and some lollys, 2, yes 2 whole stitches later i was right to go.

needless to say i walked out with my manlyhood far from intact, but alot more intact than the previous post.

When I was about 7 my Dad took my younger brother and I for a fish at the local jetty. I was showing off trying to do a huge cast with a handline spinning it around like a madman. Once I had flung the sinker it did not go quite to plan. Don't ask me how but all as I remember was my brother was sitting next to me & next thing he had a hook dangling from his eyelid!!! Needless to say Dad was far from impressed.

Haha I love laughing at other peoples misfortunes!!

Getting my hat caught in the reel was just another form of EXTREME fishing, there is no better feeling of a big shark moving its head with your own head moving in sync (haha). I can confirm that the reason for "the deckie" not pulling in the sea anchor was due to the fact that both Chris (and maybe myself) had a shocker trying to release a fish,so in the skippers haste to hurry up and get it before we had to slap some 30+ on it he forgot to pull the anchor it wasnt until he did a left hand down that he realised. These trips are the most memorable. I did warn Chris before we left that I did not get the title of Captain Disaster for nothing.

Funny stories.

Bloody hell I can probably remember at least 10 total crackups.

Maybe this one gets a laugh.

Scuba diving towards narrow neck on the northern side. We always tossed a coin for lead diver and buddy. Basically where the lead wanted to go the buddy just cruised along looking for whatever was to be on the menu. Now my mate dangerous dave won the toss on this day.

He worked for a chap that owned a NICE Merc Car Franchise, loaded and happily married with some sprouts.

As we went over we noticed a yacht about ~500m away.

The fun started. Dangerous dont know anything about underwater navigation, he just loves crays!!

So after about an hour and some nice crays in the bag I was amazed to see a hull directly above us. As we surfaced Dave yelled out a now famous cry. Hi Frosty!!!

It was his boss with 3 stunning, starkers girls on the yacht, no wife in sight, and suddenly you get sprung by a scuba diver, who by chace knows you, works for you and knows the wife.

I almost drowned swimming back to our boat laughing at what must have gone through Frosties mind at this scenario.

Way back I used to work for a Winery in South Australia, during one of the many expansion projects, we had a gang of laggers in, insulating the new brine lines. They were 3" stainless tube, surrounded by foam with metal cladding arond the outside.

This story came from one of those laggers:-  At another job, one of their tools (before safety regs) was this old rolling machine which was once manually turned, but they had added a motor to speed things up. So the rollers were now driven. The on off swich was placed at the end of this machine which was about 1200 or so wide, no safety stop sw.

The apprentice was given the job of rolling sheets to make up the cladding. Unforunatly he was standing a bit close, the machine being about 800 from the ground grabbed his overalls. and before he cold stop the machine, he had a willy that resembled a slice of bacon.

Being by himself, and after turning the machine off, he then had to unscrew the rollers at each end and lift them away to free himself. I dont know what happed to the apprentice, but it certainly makes you cringe.

A few years bach we had a great session tossing leadheads at Garth`s for sharkies, one of our mates got a decent bust off and lost about 50m of braid, unknown to him we managed to retrieve it after catching his lost fish.

The following evening whilst he was showering we proceeded to wind on 3 sections of his lost braid to his penn 850. First cast the next morning the jig disappeared to the horizon, much to his dismay and our comments of his crap knot tying. Well after the second one also disappeared, we were barely able to contain ourselves.

Rerigging for the third time in as many minutes saw him double check knots and his guides before launching into yet another horizon bound cast and the look on his face was priceless, four of us in tears at his misfortune, and captured on video for posterity as well.

The story doesn`t end there, our friend whom will remain nameless (sorry Craig) was a coffee drinker of note and would polish off a thermos on his own. After his second cup off coffee he asks us to sample a cup as it just doesn`t taste right, no wonder we tell him, bore water and coffee don`t go down to well. This trip was the best landbased  session we`ve been on and catching fish came second to the fun and company we shared.

a few years back at the mackerals we blew my old motor up so we got a tow from the old boy i wast trying to jump from the front of my boat onto his when a wave came through just as i placed my foot onto his hull which raised his boat up trying to stop the boats colliding i put all my effort into pushing them away need less to say my leg slipped and i landed on my left nut which wsas sqaushed between the bow rail and my leg with me falling 120kg and my boat rising sharply! and i also had to stop me falling overboard. somehow i managed to stay onboard buyt once hitting the deck i blanked out! i layed in the cab the whole way home sinking as much piss as possible to numb the pain! two weeks later when i arrived home the missus said it was still twice its normal size and black! she went through alot of batteries the next few weeks as i was out of action

Was up off Gnaraloo years back with son Jeff and good mate Cooda Col, 2 x snapper winches in to 3 don't go so it was my turn with the 300lb handline. Ten minutes in and I hook on to a big tiger of about 10-12 foot, on go the gloves, and in to battle. Well it finally woke up that something was wrong and took off, to try to slow it down I let the line slip through the gloves them up and over the top of the gunwhale of the boat with the extra angles creating more drag. This worked well for 30 seconds until 3 loops of line flicked up from the coils on the deck and dropped over my head and around my neck. Screaming out for the other two that ""ïts around me F#$%ING neck" After they got the knife and cut it off I was left with some lovely burn marks all the way round my neck and a good case of the shakes for half an hour or so.

Chasing the blue crabs in Karratha, we set the nets then dropped a fillet overboard as a shark bait while the crab baits were soaking.  Only took a couple minutes and we were on.  We had a bit of a novice angler on board, so he had the chance to fight the shark.

He grabs my tiagra30 and proceeded to wrestle this 7 foot shark.  Pump and wind we're telling him, and he was doing ok until the tiagra came into contact with his shirtless chest, and tangling in his nipple piercing.  Well for the first 30 seconds we were laughing so hard at his now almost female sized nipple as it was stretching with every turn of the sharks head.  Eventually he managed to free it, and fought the shark to the boat.

Had it all on video too, but has since been deleted

have another

was about 13 and on a holiday in broome

had a local show me a place to walk out to the edge of the creek as the tide was dropping to catch small trevs and queenys on the ever trusty old halco spoon

first couple of days the local was there we would walk out chest deep through mangroves to where there was a few oyster encrusted rocks the fish would hang off.

on the third day the local didnt arrive so i made my way out the this little gem of a spot again the water was between waste and chest deep by the time i made it to the open edge of the mangroves.

fired off a few casts, no fish....

then an almighty splash about 20ft to my left.

i jumped into the nearest tree, poo in my pants and sat there as i waited for the tide to drop pondering if walking chest deep through mangroves/creeks where big saltys lived was such a good idea

We were anchored well out off Hedland and with the usual lines over the back of the boat as it hung with the 1-2 knot tide. Somehow my line [I was fishing some 10 metres forward off the side of the boat] had tangled with the line from one of the others on the far back corner and out of sight of him so he had no idea that I'd pulled his gear in and tied a 20 litre bucket to the line.

A lean over the side and off goes the bucket down and away from the boat with the tide, as soon as the slack ran out it was like a massive bite and off it goes. He nearly had a fit, hanging on for dear life as he tried to stop the line from disappearing.

Twenty minutes later after much sweating, swearing and predicting  he got a sight of this big round white mouth coming in to the circle of light that he realised  he'd been got at. At least he finished the job and pulled it on board, dropping the rod in a corner and declaring that he wasn't going to drop a line in ever again and heading off to bed.

Haha, that's awesome. Love a good prank!