Friday Funny


Lastchance's picture

Posts: 1272

Date Joined: 02/02/09

6

Fri, 2016-06-17 05:48

6

choc's picture

Posts: 669

Date Joined: 05/01/12

Couch, tiles, cord, cat,

Fri, 2016-06-17 05:51

Couch, tiles, cord, cat, mirror, straw.

Son in law

Ambiance's picture

Posts: 105

Date Joined: 06/12/09

Straw, Cat, Couch, Tiles, Cord, mirror

Fri, 2016-06-17 06:33

 

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Ambiance's picture

Posts: 105

Date Joined: 06/12/09

In the eighties Son in Law now could be bloody anything

Fri, 2016-06-17 06:37

 

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sea-kem's picture

Posts: 14826

Date Joined: 30/11/09

 6 

Fri, 2016-06-17 07:04

 6

 

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Love the West!

sea-kem's picture

Posts: 14826

Date Joined: 30/11/09

 Something I'd like to get on

Fri, 2016-06-17 07:08

 Something I'd like to get on the end of my rod 

 

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Love the West!

crasny1's picture

Posts: 6985

Date Joined: 16/10/08

A Tripletail Andy??? Is that

Fri, 2016-06-17 08:26

A Tripletail Andy??? Is that correct?

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"I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact!!" _ Elon Musk

sea-kem's picture

Posts: 14826

Date Joined: 30/11/09

 Exactly Neels , very tasty 

Fri, 2016-06-17 08:36

 Exactly Neels , very tasty 

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Love the West!

crasny1's picture

Posts: 6985

Date Joined: 16/10/08

Droool

Fri, 2016-06-17 09:04

Tasty indeed!!!

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"I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact!!" _ Elon Musk

tot's picture

Posts: 1148

Date Joined: 31/01/10

you may like this Andy

Fri, 2016-06-17 14:44

 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePG6zUYvUZg    

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Reverse cycle a/c supply and install - Ducted and wall splits

sea-kem's picture

Posts: 14826

Date Joined: 30/11/09

 Ha ha ha calssic stuff, that

Fri, 2016-06-17 14:51

 Ha ha ha calssic stuff, that guy commentating is a legend!

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Love the West!

Krusty's picture

Posts: 714

Date Joined: 27/11/15

 Why do I have this strong

Fri, 2016-06-17 17:06

 Why do I have this strong urge to visit Mexico all of a sudden.......oh yea....the weather is magnificent 

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My fishing spots are so secret........... even the fish don't know where they are !!

davmor's picture

Posts: 248

Date Joined: 29/11/11

 daughter

Fri, 2016-06-17 07:11

 daughter

z00m's picture

Posts: 1086

Date Joined: 10/05/14

 3=6 

Fri, 2016-06-17 07:18

 

3=6

 

crasny1's picture

Posts: 6985

Date Joined: 16/10/08

3=6

Fri, 2016-06-17 08:07

3=6
72-16 = 56 - 14 = 42 - 12 = 30 - 10 = 20 -8 = 12 - 6 = 6
Editted - Oopps I fell for the missing 4 = trick

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"I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact!!" _ Elon Musk

EL SYD's picture

Posts: 599

Date Joined: 16/08/10

 Nice poon .... looking for

Fri, 2016-06-17 08:47

 Nice poon .... looking for one myself 

duncan61's picture

Posts: 375

Date Joined: 21/11/14

9

Fri, 2016-06-17 10:01

 9x8=72

8×7=56

7×6=42

6×5=30

5×4=20

3×3=9

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just do it.

duncan61's picture

Posts: 375

Date Joined: 21/11/14

4

Fri, 2016-06-17 10:10

 Oops missed the 4

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just do it.

Posts: 3246

Date Joined: 15/08/09

.

Fri, 2016-06-17 17:07

 9

Posts: 5981

Date Joined: 17/06/10

Yep have to go with the 9

Fri, 2016-06-17 17:15

9

Posts: 286

Date Joined: 21/07/14

Common

Sat, 2016-06-18 12:19

 An Obituary printed in the London Times.....Absolutely Dead Brilliant!!

 
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
 
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
 
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.
 
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
 
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
 
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
 
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
 
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
 
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
 
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
 
Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.
 
He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing
 
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Posts: 286

Date Joined: 21/07/14

Spit

Sat, 2016-06-18 12:22

 Olaf Bluechin was one of the most fierce Vikings to ever sail the sea or raid a monastery. He took pride in his prowess pillaging, raping and burning, and brought great bags of gold and silver trinkets home to his wife, Skadi.


One fine day Olaf went out to his longship to go a-viking with his men. They traveled the swan road for three days and nights, and came to a small island, and immediately went to work, raping, pillaging and burning. Olaf went into a small dark shop and found a little yellow man with slanted eyes hiding under a pile of silks.

He grabbed him, and was about to cut through his head with his axe, when the little man said, "Please, o great Olaf! Please spare me, and I will give you great power!"

Olaf snorted, "What can you give me that I can't take from you?"

The little yellow man repleid, "I have a bottle of the most wonderful powerful potion. A few drops of it will destroy your enemies and cause their ships to explode!"

Olaf growled, "I don't believe you! Show me this!"

The chinaman (for that was what he was) produced a heavy jug and opened it. He sprinkled one small droplet on a table, and the table exploded. Olaf grabbed the jug, and despite the little man's protests not to kill him, did just that.

With the jug in the prow of his longship, Olaf turned his sea steed towards home. Three days later, he beached the boat and hauled the jug up the short hill to his cottage. He set the jug down inside the door, and went back to the ship for more of his booty.

Skadi took the huge iron cauldron and set it over the fire to begin Olaf's supper.

Just then Olaf's friend, Snorri, who had not gone a-viking this time, burst into the cottage, and demanded a drink. Skadi turned to draw him a cool one from the barrel, but he saw Olaf's jug, popped the cork, and took a monsterous swig.

"Gaggg! Baaagth!" Snorri spewed the liquid from his mouth into the cauldron. And the world exploded.

Snorri was blown out the front door, what was left of it. The cauldron turned red, then white, then disintegrated. Skadi and the barrel went the other direction, and lay there on the ground, as bits of the house settled around her.

Just then Olaf ran up to the wreckage and saw Skadi crawling out from under part of the roof.

"Wha' happened?" He cried, astonished.

Skadi shook her head and looked at him, scornfully and said, "And where were you when the spit hit the pan?"