Friday Funnys
Submitted by ledge64 on Fri, 2016-07-15 15:23
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meglodon
Posts: 5981
Date Joined: 17/06/10
Dumb and Dumber
American chopper and battle casualty ship Okinawa comes i9nto Fremantle harbour a couple of years back.
The next day after arriving the ship is opened for public inspection. Below decks they have very impressive display of operation theatres and specialist suites etc, at the entrance to the x-ray department section they have a couple of sailors handing out glossy pamphlets on the ships casualty clearing ability and such. Now we all know how the navy ships (especially American) attract a lot of single females down to the wharf to strut their stuff in front of the ships crew.
I walked up to these hansom young sailors and said "you need to put a sign above the x-ray section advertising free mammograms"
What are they the older of these two lads asked me, when I explained just what a mammogram was, both shot back the reply "we can't go giving stuff away and medical advise without the captains approval"
I just walked away shaking my head.
groverwa
Posts: 286
Date Joined: 21/07/14
Captains Mast
Years ago I sometimes worked at a landbased USN site and believe it or not that kind of action would have resulted in what is called the Captains Mast which is a punitive session with the Captain. A bit like being flogged when strapped to the ship's mast.
We used to have a bit of fun with some of the green ratings - like once I did not have any solder with me so I asked a rating if he had any glue, which for us meant solder, so he brought along a jar of clag.
Another was a request for a rubber so we could alter the records so this one brought along a condom and then we explained that we needed to erase the original record and correct it with the present details.
The next one is when I used their idiom and asked for an eraser - this bloke the said "Why do you need a shave"
They were all not like that - we had an american comms bloke on our darts team that was on his third tour of the place that I told that if he got an aussie accent we would not know he was an import.