.

I recall a thread about the name Two Dogs somewhere on the forum .............

In a teepee out in the Red Indian country a father and son are having a chat ............

Dad - how do you decide on the names for your children?

Well son, when your first brother was born, I looked out the teepee and I saw a bear running in the forest, so I named first brother - Running Bear.

When your second brother was born, I looked out the teepee and I saw an eagle flying high in the sky, so I named second brother - High Flying Eagle.

When your third brother was born, I looked out the teepee and saw a charging bull, so I named third brother - Charging Bull.

Why do you ask - Two Dog F**king?

A group  of primary school infants, accompanied by two female teachers,

went on a field  trip to Cheltenham races to see and learn about

thoroughbred horses.  

When it  was time to take the children to the

toilet, it was decided that the girls  would go with one teacher and the boys

would go with the other.  

The  teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet

when  one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach

the  urinal

Having  no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with

their pants, and began  hoisting the boys up, one by one, holding their

willies to direct the flow  away from their clothes.

As she  lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was

Unusually well endowed.  

Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said,

'You must be in  year four.'  

'No,  madam,' he replied. 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the 2.15 race but please, carry on' 

all good ledge,great work mate

           jeff

A wife asks her Husband

"what do you like about me the most? My face or my sexy body?"

He Replied "Your sense of humour..."

It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reserve in Alberta asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

 Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

 Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

 But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called Environment Canada and asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'

 'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

 So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

 A week later, he called Environment Canada again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?' 

 'Yes,' the man at Environment Canada again replied, 'it's going to be a very cold winter.'

 The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

 Two weeks later, the chief called Environment Canada again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'

 'Absolutely,' the man replied.  'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.'

 'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

  The weatherman replied, 'The Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood'

Hey Mate, really need your advice for a serious problem:

I have suspected for some time now that the missus has been cheating. 

The usual signs; Phone rings, if I answer the caller hangs up and she’s going out with the girls a lot. 

I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.
 
Anyway last night  about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat, when she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on...

It was at that moment crouched behind the boat I noticed…

A "hairline crack" in the outboard mounting bracket...

Is that something I can weld myself or do I need to replace it?

A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl.

As he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty.

He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was sitting there.

"No," the man replied, "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible," said the first man.

"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world and not use it?"

The second man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.

This will be the first Super bowl we haven't been together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The man shook his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."


 

I hear Tiger Woods is sponsored by Viagra now, and they're bringing out a new version called

"TIAGRA"

-for when 18 holes is not enough

Crotchety old grandpa takes his grandson fishing.

Pop lights up a gaspa.

boy;"can have a try of your cigarette gandpa"

Pop; "son can your d++k touch your a++hole?"

boy; "umm no it cant"

Pop; "well your too young then"

A bit later pop cracks a tinny

boy "pop can I have a taste of your beer"

Pop; "son can your d++k touch your a++hole?"

boy; "umm no it cant"

Pop; "well your too young then"

A bit later the young bloke opens his lunch box and gets some home made bikkies out

Pop; "son can have one of those cookies?"

boy; "pop can your d++k touch your a++hole?"

Pop; "why it sure can son!"

son "well go f++k yourself then"