A man sitting at the bar with his hand up to his ear chatting away. The barman comes up and let's him know that is other folk see him doing this he doesn't know what they could do. The man explains to him that his hand is his phone. Receiver in the tip of the thumb and the mike in his little finger And on his palm is all the keypad tattooed in . After a couple more drinks the man dissapeared to the men's room. He was gone for some time and the barman was worried so went in . There the man was bent over the hand basin with a roll of paper shoved up his ass. The barman asked if he was ok and who it was that got to him. The man said it's all good . None got to him , just waiting for a fax to come through.

 A man walks into a bar and in the corner is a man playing piano who's only one foot tall

he asks the barman where he found him and he says there's a genie in the bathroom who will grant your wishes

the man races into the bathroom and says I want a million bucks

boof the genie grants his wish and when the smoke clears there's a million ducks on the floor 

the man races out the bathroom and says I think your genie is hard of hearing,I said I wanted a million bucks not a million ducks

the bartender goes, I know do you really think I wanted a 12 inch pianist