Funny Golfing Stories

Well, with all you guys contemplating that golf game, I thought I'd start this thread and kick (tee?) it off with my golfing 'experience'...

Many years ago (too many!), in my last years as a Teenager, I decided to get into golfing. So, armed with my life's savings, I travelled down to K-Mart and shelved out a massive $60.00 on a buggy, bag and club set. Yup, no expenses spared. Top quality stuff - NOT! Laughing My 'set' consisted of a 2 wood, a 2, 5,7 and 9 iron and a putter. 

With my awesome set in hand, one of my brothers and I teamed up against two other friends who were also brothers - Paul (the elder) and Keith. We jumped into Paul's freshly hand pained burn orange Morris and headed off to the 'Lakes' course. 

I'd spent the previous 2 weeks slamming balls into my Mother's prized spare blankets, managing to put a hole or two in a couple, nearly taking out the neighbour's dog in the process. Dog and Mum were not impressed!

Paul was an amiable chap, but Keith was the sort that was very negative, condescending, sceptical and a real winger.   

We were on the 'front 9'. The whole was a par 5 and Keith had tee's off first and was about 100 yards or so down and on the left of the fairway. It was my turn to tee off. I yelled 'four' in Keith's direction. His response was to yell back something all the lines 'Ha! You'll never get this far' and stood out in front of his buggy. He was so wrong! A lucky connection saw my ball travel straight down the fairway, then hook left, making for Keith like a well controlled exercet missile. WHACKO! The ball, travelling at full speed, hit Keith smack in the left kneecap. He dropped like a stone, holding his knee cap and yelling all sorts of profanities. Call us cruel, but all we could do was laugh. 'Colin did warn you, you idiot' said Paul as we approached.

At least Keith now had something proper to winge about, as we played on through the first 9 and on to the back 9.

It was my turn to tee of on a par 3 and, as I carefully placed the ball on my tee, Keith blurted 'hang on, he's bloody dangerous, I'm standing well behind this time. Now, what I'm about to tell you is the absolute truth, though the chances of it happening are amazing, to say the least.

I teed off, my ball zoomed down the fairway, hooked to the left, slammed into a tree and richocheyed straight back, missing myself, paul and my brother bryan - but, you guessed it - slamming into Keith's left knee cap!

Keith's scream of rage and agony was impressive to say the least. Us three just collapsed on the ground, crying with laughter!

For some reason, Keith didn't come to any more golf excursions after that. Foot in mouth



Soon to be de "dreamweaver" ed!

Colin Hay's picture

Posts: 10407

Date Joined: 23/10/07

That would have been a crack up Colin

Fri, 2008-06-06 14:21

For his knee anyway.
My best story relates to a friendly game with a few mates at the Warringah Course in Sydney. I don't know if the layout is still the same, but there a few holes that ran parallel to the main road to Sydney - which was a very busy road. Strangely, the only thing stopping golf balls from going out on that road was a waste high fence and a few trees.
I have a great slice and at the first of the holes running alongside the road, I cracked a beauty which easily cleared the fence and the trees and sailed straight into the top section of a double decker bus.
Two holes later. Same shot, same result, except this time the ball just missed a guy on a bicycle and careered up the road and hit a parked car.

(Colin 1 - Co-founding member of the prestigious Colin Club)


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GusG's picture

Posts: 547

Date Joined: 07/04/08

Very Good

Fri, 2008-06-06 14:26

Great story Colin, very funny.  Lucky you are too far away to come up for the golf day.  We should all be safe. Laughing


My friends were playing golf in Canberra many years ago and the course was situated right next to some paddocks wth cattle on them.  One of my mates addressed the ball and prepared to tee off.  Just as the back swing started the loudest mooing sounds, low at first and getting more high pitched towards the end rung out, disrupting my mates shot.  All turned around to see a bull mounted squarely on a cow and doing what comes naturally. 

No more golf was played for the next 10mins as everyone rolled around on the green with tears flowing freely.

To this day if I ever play with that same friend I only have to moo just before his tee shot to really throw him of his gameLaughing

Pete D's picture

Posts: 1681

Date Joined: 07/06/07

Playing my first game at the

Fri, 2008-06-06 15:18

Playing my first game at the Palmerston course in Darwin with a few locals.  They start sniggering before I even hit the ball on the 4th or 5th.  My ball sails nicely down the fairway, landing just past a tree in the middle of the fairway.  Perfect I thought, you beauty.

A few seconds later, I see my ball making a bee line off the fairway to the scrub with my mates piss'n them selves now.  I'm like, did you see that?  What the@#@!!

Yeah, don't hit ya ball near that tree.  The resident frill neck lizards don't like them!

Cheers Pete

Also had a few good laughs playing night golf at Humpty Doo Course - 60-80 people on shot gun start over 6 holes.  You use a opaque ball with a cyalume stick shoved through it.  Shooting stars everywhere!  Easy to find a glowing ball in the bush though.  Very pissy night aswell.


Dreamweaver's picture

Posts: 4688

Date Joined: 01/12/07


Fri, 2008-06-06 19:55

Some funny incidents there! Laughing

Another One: 

Not on a course, but involving clubs...

When we were 14 or 15 or so, mt younger brother Bryan bought a cheap set of clubs from a garage (jumble) sale. We took them down the end of the road where they'd been excavating for yellow sand. So there was this big area with an eight foot 'cliff' at the back.

We'd decided that we would practice with the #2 wood and climbed the 'cliff' attempting to push the bag and clubs over the top. Result? All the clubs rained down on top of us. But that was just the start.

We finally made it to the top. My brother pushed a tea into the sand at the edge, placed a ball on, and, taking out the #2 wood, took a mighty swing. He missed the ball completely, but connected with my head.

All I fealt was a dull CLOMP, then my vision turned red as blood from a substantial skull wound, seeped into my eyes.

We headed home and entered the door, my mother screamed and it was off to the hospital. Twelve stiches later, I was returned home.

It was interesting explained to the physical education teacher why I couldn't play sport for a month or so! 


Colin Molloy

(Colin 2 - Co-founding member of the prestigious Colin Club)



Soon to be de "dreamweaver" ed!

ody's picture

Posts: 581

Date Joined: 30/12/06

Hi Ya, Have never hit a

Sat, 2008-06-07 22:25

Hi Ya,

Have never hit a golf ball other than on the mini courses but my son got keen for a while.  One of his mates knew the jun pro at the Vines so they got to play there once in a while and I think this is where this happened.  Anyway, they were on the last hole where there is a lake.  Came time for Eon to have his hit and decided to go over the lake to the pin.  everyone, including Eon I think, expected his ball to end up in the lake.  well, it sort of did, but not quite.  He gave it an almight whack, the ball took off and hit the water in the midle of the lake.  But as balls have their own ideas, the middle of the lake isn't where it stayed.  It skipped off the water a couple of times and ended up on the green.  Many a jaw, including some inthe club house, hit the deck and nobody could believe what they had just witnessed.

Eon, with tongue firmly planted in cheek, of course claimed it was all planned.


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