Two morons named sherbs and shag thought they would try there luck out on ice fishing. They cut there hole in the ice and started but with no success. Pretty soon after this guy came past on a snow mobile and he had a whole bucket of fish on the back of it! Sherbs turns to Shag and says "thats why were not catching any fish, were not trolling" LOL.

One more: The difference between a fairy tale and a fish story is a fairy tale starts with "once apon a time" and a fishing story usally begins with "this aint no bullshit but the other day....."

Spess's fishing jokes for the week.

Posts: 564

Date Joined: 05/08/06

hahahaha nice

Wed, 2007-05-09 08:29

hahahaha nice

poddyfish's picture

Posts: 986

Date Joined: 01/05/07

Gauddam Fish

Wed, 2007-05-09 11:09

One day a nun was fishing and caught a huge, strange-looking fish. A man was walking by and said, "Wow! What a nice Gauddam Fish!" The sister said, "Sir, you shouldn't use God's name in vain."
The man said, "But that's the species of the fish - a Gauddam Fish." The sister said, "Oh, okay."

The Sister took the fish back home and said, "Mother Superior, look at the Gauddam Fish I caught." Shocked, the Mother Superior said, "Sister, you know better than that."

The nun said, "That's the species of it - a Gauddam Fish." So, the Mother Superior said, "Well, give me the Gauddam Fish and I'll clean it."

While she was cleaning the fish, Monsignor walked in and Mother Superior said, "Monsignor, look at the Gauddam Fish that the sister caught." Nearly fainting, Monsignor said, "Mother Superior, you shouldn't talk like that!"

Mother Superior said, "But that's the species of it - a Gauddam Fish." Monsignor said, "Well give me the Gauddam Fish and I'll cook it."

That evening at supper there was a new priest at the table, and he said, "Wow, what a nice fish." In reply, the sister said, "Thank you, I caught the Gauddam Fish." And Mother Superior said, "I cleaned the Gauddam Fish." And Monsignor said, "I cooked the Gauddam Fish."

The priest looked around in disbelief, quite shocked, and said, "I think I'm going to like this f%$@# ing place!"


Fear The Spear............! 

SPESS's picture

Posts: 3356

Date Joined: 29/12/06

Thats a good one there

Wed, 2007-05-09 12:43

Thats a good one there poddyfish, i put it up a couple of weeks back. Still makes me smile though.hehehe

Keep it tight, reeeeeeel tight!

Andy Mac's picture

Posts: 4779

Date Joined: 03/02/06

Here's one for ya

Fri, 2007-05-11 13:36

A man staggered into a north west hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a filleting knife stuck between the shoulderblades.
Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?"

"Well, I was having a quiet barra fishing session with my wife, when during a red hot bite we both lost lures to a pair of massive barra, I guess in all the excitement as I was changeing lures for both of us I think I forgot to clip the swivel on properly and we both ended up casting our lures into a field of cattle.

We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something shiny at its rear end."

"I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a rapala CD 90 in pink just like my wife was using, stuck right in the middle of the cow's fanny.

Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife,"Hey, this looks like yours!'"

"I don't remember much after that"


Andy Mac



Andy Mac (Fishwrecked Reeltime Editor & Forum Moderator)

Youngest member of the Fishwrecked Old Farts Club

Jody's picture

Posts: 1578

Date Joined: 19/04/07


Fri, 2007-05-11 14:27

A man was fishing. He began his outing with a 25kg Kingfish on the first drop and a 20 lb snapper on the second. On the third drop he had just scored his first ever monster Sambo when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition in ICU.

The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized
he was leaving, what was shaping up to be, his best ever fishing trip. He decided to get in a couple of more drifts before heading to the hospital.

He ended up catching several personal bests, limited out on three species and all in all, had his best days fishing by far. He was jubilant.... Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital.

He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.

The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and kept fishing didn't you!" I hope you're proud of yourself! While you
were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself on the ocean, your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished the fishing because it will be more than likely your last!" "For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care. And you'll be her care giver!"

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed. The doctor snickered and said, "Just fu@king with you. She's dead. What'd you catch?"