A couple months ago out in our 4.6m half cab (AKA the world's most unstable boat) my mate was coming back around from dropping the anchor and thought it would be funny to rock the boat whilst standing on the gunwhale. He rocked a bit too hard and holding onto the bimini frame his arse almost touched the water and the water level was about 10cm below the edge. I was pissing my self laughing and he was very white for the rest of the day. He hasnt tried it again since

 Mate had an extremely urgent call of nature many years ago , it was pretty rough and hard to stick your bum over the side , they say necessity is the mother of invention , he suddenly swooped on a plastic shopping bag dropped his strides , put his legs thru the handles and put it on like a nappy and proceeded to half fill it with very liquid no2s , we were in absolute stitches , must be the only used plastic shopping bag in history not to have a hole in it , and sorry it got tied up and ditched in the drink we werent keeping that onboard!

Another time we went for a nightfish out from bundegi , not much was happening,  we sitting round a big flouro 12 volt worklight having a beer and bull shittting on when a gardie came flying out of the dark and slapped my mate between the eyes the look on his face was priceless !

 Crayfishing this year , 2 mates pulling pots me skippering , they retrieve a pot a small ordinary occy drops out on the floor andd one of them starts yelling blue ring , blue ring , the resulting dance moves would have impressed micheal jackson and josh kennedy , considering he had his arms full of craypot at the time , I was in absolute tears ! 

4 of us boat fishing off steep point, Can't remember who pulled up a large occy but we were all shit scared of handling occy and this thing was a decent size and crawling all around the boat as we were trying to get it in one of the fish esky for bait, finally got it in the esky but it kept pushing the lid off and try crawling out, this was making everyone onboard nervous about turning there backs to fish. Finally it settled down and everyone forgot about it. Later while no one was looking one of the crew had cut a couple of legs off the occy, while the rest of us were busy fishing, he then slapped them around the legs of 2 un-suspecting crew with the occy suction cups sticking to there legs,the mayhem that followed with screams, dancing and laughter.

 This is one relayed to me....  boys fishing trip at steep point a few years ago... Day One.   The boys have all dived into their lure boxes and bringing out a range of lures to try....  The one who is the constant butt of all the jokes pulls out a nice brand new shiney gold lure and proudly declares, "you boys won't catch anything with those.... you need a lure like this!"  With that he holds it up proudly and in doing so jags his finger, curses loudly and fumbles the chosen lure so much so he throws it overboard.....  not yet attached to his line....  The subsequent curse was even louder...

Myself, Marky and GillyL have had many laughs out on the boat, usually full of piss..

But one comes to mind in Broome, both GillyL and I holding the boat nervously in croc waters, and skipper Marky goes to hop in, then bolts off away from the water suddenly!!

Me and Gilly follow, thinking we were about to be eaten by a monter croc...nobody holding the boat.

Turns out a crab touched his foot!!

 down at eshed few year back when old mate hooked up, i'd had a hell of a run on shovel nose sharks at this time and no how they carry on so as the crowed gathered round him a mother from a family asked what have you got, old mate says mulloway, mum say how many have you caught,  old mate in the most arrogant  voice replies how many fingers you got, by this time there was bout 25-30 people watching and i new what was on the end i walked over said mate you got a shovely bout 5 minutes after he called me an idiot and to mind my own business a shovely pops up with a few sniggers from the crowed i strolled up with "thats a funny looking mulloway you want to keep practising counting your fingers to which got a roarin response

on a lucky bay trip bout 5 year back i went with 2 of my mates and 2 blokes that i hadnt met but been told they were wild lads for the fishin, drinking and a good laugh so the 2nd day rolls by and shes bout 32 degrees perfect day we'd all been on the drink all day and i thought time for a grin so when i went to bait up next i had a quick change of clothes and strutted back down the beach in a metallic purple pair of cock jocks beer in one hand alvey rod in the other smoke in the gob, the boys roared abuse and rolled round laughing but i never took into concideration all the other crew driven round which also had a god laugh if i could find the photo its defently worth a 1000 words. Just so yas no i'm still mates with the boys on that i first met on that fishing trip so didnt scare thm to much    

 but my two chump mates on board did. me sitting in back corner seat of runabout, Crab Creek - Broome.......Skip opens throttle WOT, fishtailing up creek, me hanging onto gunnel rail with all my might with one hand, can in other, end result, me going overside doing a few rolls across top of water before sinking and then resurfacing with can still in hand and a gut full of creek water....realised then, I was moving at a fair rate of knots towards the mouth/bay. Skip and offsider had no idea I was overboard for what seemed like an eternity, slammed back the throttle , when he realised, burying the front of the boat in the mangroves, and then him and other, required to stand on seats, whilst trying to find reverse because they had about a dozen angry muddies on the floor at their feet, courtesy of the esky going ass up from the back of the boat , when he throttled off.

on a trip to the Easter Group last year my young bloke Cam ate an apple then came to me and said "dad I ate the sticker on the apple by mistake", we had a laugh about it.

Next day I drop the kids off on an island for their "ablutions" and 10 minutes later 3 of them come tearing back to the boat yelling and screaming

"Cam did a poo over there, and the Royal Gala sticker is on the outside"!

Unfortunately I still have a picture etched in my mind of my father in law perched squatting on a rock which was about 5 inches underwater in the middle of nowhere doing a number 2. Mum and I were cacking it telling him to watch out for crabs as his balls dangled just touching the water.....

Came into the ramp with Dad once and held the boat side on to the ramp with the passenger side in the shallows - a deep channel ran parallel to the ramp. Dad was about to hop out the driver's side so I said "jump out this side its shallower" his reply as he hopped over the side straight into the channel was "I'll be right" followed by hands frantically grabbing at the side of the boat and gurgled swearing I can't repeat here (family site and all). I was rolling in fits as he trudged up to the car dripping wet and still swearing - I don't thing my laughing helped. - A story I told at his wake bless his soul - he was known to swear a bit when pissed...

 One time me and a mate took a spur of the moment trip to exmouth, we had a hot session catching heaps of fish, as the tide went out we pulled out the bream rods to try get some smaller fish behind the reefs, we were all the way out on the rocks to try get to the back 

he ended up snapping off his rig and started trying another one on the rocks, he dropped his sinker into a small hole in the rocks full of water, he looks around the hole for a few minutes saying I'm not putting my hand in there, so I go and have a closer look saying nah there's nothing in there(as you could visibility see there was nothing) after a few words saying just do it he decided he would quickly put his hand in the hole filled with water, instantly his yelling as he I see him thrashing around, I thought he was joking and started laughing, turns out a octopus has wrapped around his arm and was attacking him, he finally shook it off and had some nice marks on his arm from the octopus, funniest thing I've ever seen

found it even more funny as he took ages just to put his arm in there and then happen to have something in there that attacked him hahaha 

was overnighting at rosemary island in the dampier archipelago and No1 mate starts snoring like a chain saw (ok he had drunk a whole bottle of Green stones ginger wine plus other stuff) NO 2 mate slips down to the boat and grabs a mulie of the boat and drops it down No 1 snoring mates throat , No 1 mate wakes up choking and spewing then chased No 2 mate down the beach threatening blue murder

The second one was when I was out doing nav aid repairs on seaboy out from Hampton harbor , I was on the ward boat that had the 3 250 hp yamys on the back wardys son was skippering it , of siding me was this appy that continually wined about doing any thing slightly hard he had just past me over a battery from the boat to seaboy I had my back to the boat and hear this "oh that hurt" bloody wining again I thought turn around and the appy is flat on the deck a 20 kg Spaniard had leapt out of the water chasing a bait fish (it was on the deck too) and flattened him lucky its jaws were closed , wardys son turned it into a nice load of fillets , and we put in an incident report but there was no resolution on how to prevent it happening again we were just told just share the fillets next time

Fishing Steep Point a few years back and a bunch of lads were out casting lures off the stones.  A couple of them decided to head back to the car for a few bongs so they went back and started dutching the car up.  In the meantime one of their mates happened to catch a seagull accidentally so he got a rag and grabbed the poor thing, unhooked it and then snuck up the the back of the car (wagon), opened the back hatch and threw it in closing the door straight away.  Nothing happened for a couple of seconds and then all of a sudden they all poured out, smoke billowing (relatively) out of the doors with all these guys cacking themselves.  It was a great laugh to see it all happen, still makes me smile thinking back to it.

We were pulling shark gear out of Hedland in pretty shitty weather when a decky spotted a huge tiger coming up on the line. Hearing the call, Mario the cook, decides he wants to come out from in the galley at about a hundred miles and hour, he took a leap over the combing at the bottom of the doorway and as he went through the boat dropped down a trough, he collected the top od the door and was out cold when he hit the deck about ten feet from where he took off.

We couldn't help cracking up at the sight of him flying through the air that it was about a minute or two before we woke up he was out like a light and gave him first aid with him coming round about 30 seconds later.

Working our way south to take the boat down to Freo for survey we had a shot out from the Abrolos, pulling gear the next day we copped a huge breaker completely filling the back of the 24 metre ex trawler up with water flowing over the top of the gunwales, the crew were hanging on for grim life while the owner and me were yelling "BRING IT ON", Talk about white faces after when the water had gone out through the clearing ports, all of the deckies had only fished in northern waters where swell doesn't get above 1 metre if there is any and that had scared shit out of them.

 Watching a body builder/boxer struggle on a sambo all while craig from saltwater charter 9 year old daighter bought up a bigger sambo no worries hahah

 This is an old story about my grandfather & his mate. Heard it from a few family members so i'm sure its true. The two mates launched their wooden cabin cruiser from one of the Perth yacht clubs late one afternoon & headed down the river planning for a fish the next day. Tied up at Fremantle wharf around sunset, aiming to sleep the night on the boat & head out to sea at first light next morning. Getting a very early start.  In the middle of the night, there's a terrible crunching sound that wakes them up. The tide had risen & lifted the boat - causing a boom to come through the top of the wooden cabin. They had to wait till late morning for the tide to drop & lower the boat from the boom.  

 Years ago the fellas i fish with were partners in an old wood ex cray boat.It would do 13 knots flat out,but was a great party boat.Anyway this one time we were out about 15mile out  fishing for dhuies ,it was handlines back then,when an xl squid followed a bait up ,quick as a jig was thrown in and said squid caught.meanwhile one of my mates girlfriend who  was quietly sitting out of the wind reading a book up by the cabin(u can guess what happened).Yes the squid did what squids do and a huge missile of squid ink sailed a good 12 feet the length of the deck and landed on her head sunnies book,gott her real good the boyz laughed and she never fished again

on a regular boys fishing trip down south, 3/4 of the way down one of the boys needed to do No2 quite bad. he jumped out of the car and ran over to one of the white posts you see on the side of the road, dropped his dacks and hung off the post with a beer in one hand. half way through "doing his business" he finished his beer and asked for another one. no one was keen to go anywhere near him so one of the boys threw a full tin strait at him at full pace. without even flinching or removing his hand from the white post he plucked it out of the air with his other hand and opened it up with his teeth and proceeded to drink it. it was funny as but most of us were in disbelief at what we had just witnessed.

took a of very green pommy bloke out for an overnighter at the time I had an ali razor line (it was a crap boat) I anchored the boat and knew unless a sudden cyclone descended on us the boat would be there in the morning pommy mate spent the whole night checking on the boat thought he was going to burst into tears at 1 stage when I said just go to sleep mate

Fishing out from Tantabiddi several years back and I caught a Bluefin tuna. Came on board and did the tuna shimmy on my nut sack. I reckon I was tail slapped 47 times in about 5 seconds.Result was me laying on deck with tears of pain and skipper and other decky laying on deck with tears of laughter.Shit I can still feel it.

Sack tapped by a tuna that's the winner right there

^^that's gold!

 Haha that is a classic. Still laughing!!