Bahahahahhahahahaahaha love the last one

A Scotsman, an Englishman, and an Irishman were drinking together in McSorley's Bar in New York City.
"Y'know," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow there's a wee bar called McTavish's. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy four drinks he will buy the fifth drink for you."
"Well," said the Englishman "at my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two!"
"Ahhhrr, that's nothing," said the Irishman, "back home in Dublin there's Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs to see that you get laid. All on the House!"
The Englishman and Scotsman immediately scorn the Irishman's claims but he swears every word is true.
"Wow!" said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"
"Not meself, personally, no" said the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister."

''Tomorrow is the 10th annual blow job champs, please stay at home so a girl can win this year.

Thanks champ''

 Motorboatin son of a bitch!

Helen and Leanne are out having a coffee and catching up

“So, how was your evening last night”?

“A disaster! After getting home, Kevin wolfed down in four minutes the dinner that had taken me all afternoon to prepare, ‘granted’ me three minutes of ‘passionate’ love before rolling over and falling asleep two minutes later. Nightmare! And you”?

“Oh, mine was incredible. Graeme was waiting for me to get back home from work. He took me out for a very romantic dinner. We then walked back home, under an amazing starry sky, along the canal, for a good two hours. Once home, he lit all the candles and we had foreplay which lasted for an hour. We then made love for another hour and chatted until late. It was wonderful”.

Meanwhile, Kevin and Graeme were at the pub

“So, how was your evening last night, Kevin”?

“Incredible! When I came home, the food was ready. I ate, we shagged and I fell asleep. Wonderful night, I just love my wife. You”?

“A nightmare! I came home early to fix the kitchen shelf. When I switched on the power drill, the fuse went out. The whole house went into darkness. Couldn't find the bloody fuse box, so when Helen arrived I took her out for dinner. It was the only thing to do to avoid getting an earful! The dinner was fine but was so expensive I couldn't afford a taxi, so we had to walk home. It took ages and once there, the house was still in the dark, obviously, so I had to light all these fucking candles to avoid knocking everything over. I was so wound up and pissed off that it took me an hour to get a hard on, and another hour to finish. In the end, I was still wound up and it took me ages to fall asleep, while she kept yapping on and on about everything and nothing ....... total disaster”!!

The Guys' Rules

These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying IS blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

 Good as always Ledge, but for some reason I didn't get the second one. Maybe too many beers,,,

cheers

Dale

 Oh yeah

cheers

Dale

 classics again. love the second pic.