Friday Funnys
Submitted by ledge64 on Fri, 2014-04-11 07:32
Enjoy 
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Alan James
Posts: 2224
Date Joined: 30/06/09
SCHOOL-1955 vs 2014
Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fight after school.
1955 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.
2014 - Police called and they arrest Johnny and Mark and charge them with assault. Both are expelled even though Johnny started it. Johnny and Mark go to anger management programmes for 3 months. School Principal holds a meeting to implement bullying prevention programmes.
Scenario:
Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1955 - Robbie sent to the office and given six of the best by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2014 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADHD - result deemed to be positive. Robbie's parents get fortnightly disability payments and school gets extra funding from government because Robbie has a disability.
Scenario:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1955 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2014 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care; joins a gang; ends up in jail.
Scenario:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1955 - Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with. Passes exams, becomes a solicitor.
2014- Police called, car searched for drugs and weapons. Mark expelled from school for drug taking. Ends up as a drop out.
Scenario:
Johnny takes apart leftover fireworks from Cracker night, puts them in a paint tin & blows up a wasp's nest.
1955 - Wasps die.
2014- Police & Anti-Terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly in an airplane again. The Greens run a facebook campaign and hold a rally to save the wasps.
Scenario:
Johnny falls over while running during morning break and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. She hugs him to comfort him.
1955 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing footie. No damage done.
2014 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy and ends up gay.
Cruise Control
Posts: 973
Date Joined: 03/11/10
How true . . . . .
How true . . . . . .Unfortunately
psion
Posts: 424
Date Joined: 15/05/12
brilliant, but sad
brilliant, but sad
catchalittle
Posts: 1875
Date Joined: 04/09/08
(No subject)
Nathan
catchalittle
Posts: 1875
Date Joined: 04/09/08
(No subject)
Nathan
tim-o
Posts: 4657
Date Joined: 24/05/11
Love this kid hehe
I am, as I've said, merely competent. But in an age of incompetence, that makes me extraordinary.
Poppy
Posts: 98
Date Joined: 19/01/13
Why sentence structure is so important
The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.
It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers.
Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.
Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night.
She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.
The boss approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off."
"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like s***."
A pessimist is never disapointed
Faulkner Family
Posts: 18028
Date Joined: 11/03/08
some beauties there. . dont
some beauties there. . dont know where you find them all . spose you gotta do something while you work lol
RUSS and SANDY. A family that fishes together stays together