Friday Funnys

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carnarvonite's picture

Posts: 8619

Date Joined: 24/07/07

Words

Fri, 2016-08-26 07:51

Put that bulge away

Posts: 3246

Date Joined: 15/08/09

^ Hey Mr Carnarvon

Fri, 2016-08-26 18:41

 You in Thailand? 

crasny1's picture

Posts: 6985

Date Joined: 16/10/08

Want a million dollars!!!!!!

Fri, 2016-08-26 07:58

Want a million dollars!!!!!!

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"I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact!!" _ Elon Musk

Bruce's picture

Posts: 527

Date Joined: 11/04/12

 Lets get chicken nuggets!!!

Fri, 2016-08-26 08:24

 Lets get chicken nuggets!!!

Doc's picture

Posts: 691

Date Joined: 29/05/16

Going with the lads

Fri, 2016-08-26 11:32

Going with the lads

sea-kem's picture

Posts: 14826

Date Joined: 30/11/09

 I'll do the dishes

Fri, 2016-08-26 09:55

 I'll do the dishes

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Love the West!

chris raff's picture

Posts: 3257

Date Joined: 09/02/10

 It’s Raff your turn

Fri, 2016-08-26 09:59

 It’s Raff your turn

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Intelligence is like a four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.”

chris raff's picture

Posts: 3257

Date Joined: 09/02/10

 It’s Meg’s fault for making

Fri, 2016-08-26 10:51

 It’s Meg’s fault for making me google it  

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Intelligence is like a four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.”

wooden fish's picture

Posts: 47

Date Joined: 17/01/11

Kids view this site

Fri, 2016-08-26 11:06

I suggest that a few of the members remember that this site is viewed by kids and others who should not be exposed to gratuitous porn/bad language.

Adam, maybe there could be a seperate section for those who want to post such material.

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WOOD 'n FISH

Auslobster's picture

Posts: 1901

Date Joined: 03/05/08

Seperate section?

Fri, 2016-08-26 11:37

 What would it be called? "Kids, whatever you do, don't click on this"?

sea-kem's picture

Posts: 14826

Date Joined: 30/11/09

 Where's the porn? Am I

Fri, 2016-08-26 11:38

 Where's the porn? Am I missing something 

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Love the West!

scotto's picture

Posts: 2469

Date Joined: 21/04/08

there it is!!

Fri, 2016-08-26 13:57

I've seen some doosies on here over the years (many were from hlokk..), but now there is a new leader in the SHITTEST POST IVE EVER SEEN category....

good work woodenfish, you utter pleb.

Posts: 242

Date Joined: 30/11/10

 Lol good joke 

Fri, 2016-08-26 16:48

 Lol good joke 

chris raff's picture

Posts: 3257

Date Joined: 09/02/10

 Did you have something to do

Fri, 2016-08-26 17:07

 Did you have something to do with cancelling the fireworks in Freo as well ? 

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Intelligence is like a four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.”

rob90's picture

Posts: 1522

Date Joined: 06/02/13

Who invited the fun police?

Fri, 2016-08-26 19:35

Who invited the fun police? If those kids are old enough to google fishwrecked im sure they've already tried "boobs" or "fuck"

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 Hi my name is rob............. and I'm a........... fishaholic

Posts: 59

Date Joined: 10/12/15

 didnt see any swearing

Fri, 2016-08-26 11:51

 didnt see any swearing either

Posts: 40

Date Joined: 03/07/09

Funnies

Fri, 2016-08-26 13:52

The 60th High School Reunion.........
Walter was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a long time, having been high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail.  This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles. They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high, with the widower throwing admiring glances across the table, and the widow smiling coyly back at him. Finally, during one dance, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?” After about 6 seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes... yes I will!"

Needless to say, the evening ended on a happy note for Walter. However, the next morning he was troubled.  Did she say “Yes” or did she say "No"? He couldn't remember.  Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over-and-over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank.

He remembered asking the question, but for the life of him could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation, he picked up the phone and called her. First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her,"When I asked if you would marry me, did you say “Yes” or did you say “No”?

"Why, you silly man” she replied, I said "Yes.  Yes, I will!  And I meant it with all my heart!" Walter was delighted.  He felt his heart skip a beat. Then she continued. "And I'm so glad you called.  I couldn't remember who asked me".

 

 

I talked to a  to a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way. He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all.  I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.  I was working on my MBA on-line.  I had no bills and no debt.  I even had full medical coverage." I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened?  Drugs?  Alcohol? Divorce?" "Oh no, nothing like that," he said.  "No, no.  I got out of prison."

Posts: 2318

Date Joined: 03/05/06

Twins

Fri, 2016-08-26 14:21

Conjoined twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool.

One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please".

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward tries to make police conversation while pouring the beers.

"Been on vacation yet, fellas?"

"Off to England next month", says John. "We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles and miles, don't we, Jim?"

Jim nods.

"Ah England?" says the bartender. "Wonderful country...the history, the culture and especially the beer".

"Nah, we don't like any of that British crap", says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's for us, eh, Jim?. And we can't stand the English people, they're so arrogant and rude".

"So why do you keep going to England?", asks the bartender.

John replies, "Gives Jim a chance to drive".

Doc's picture

Posts: 691

Date Joined: 29/05/16

lol, love it

Fri, 2016-08-26 16:22

lol, love it

Posts: 1097

Date Joined: 19/06/14

Hmmm

Fri, 2016-08-26 20:51

Maybe the word VAGINA was offensive... Perhaps next time we use " mummy's special place "  in lieu of the correct anatomical word. Enough said.....Now I need to go and play with my ding dong as I'm feeling frisky after seeing a Malodorous VAGINA description displayed on my iPad screen... 

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 My wife understands why I clean my rods n reels in the shower....

 

Ambiance's picture

Posts: 105

Date Joined: 06/12/09

This is Hilarious

Fri, 2016-08-26 21:14

 

 

https://www.facebook.com/KinneTVshow/videos/1105109049576108/

 

Enjoy

 

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Posts: 6454

Date Joined: 08/08/11

 A stockboy is stacking fruit

Mon, 2016-08-29 16:24

 A stockboy is stacking fruit on a display, when a lady asks "Do you have any potatoes? "

The stockboy replies "Sorry ma'am, we are out of potatoes, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning"
The lady looks around some more. A few mins later she runs back to him asking where the potatoes are.
The stockboy confused about her mental state simply tells her "Sorry ma'am, we are out of potatoes, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning"
The lady looks around some more then goes back to the same stockboy and asks "Where the hell do you keep the potatoes, I need some potatoes right now!"
The stockboy, getting frustrated with his inability to explain the situation, tells the lady "Answers a couple of questions and I will get you your potatoes from the back."
The lady agrees and the man starts the questions.
"Spell cat for me, as in catastrophe " she says Ok, "C A T". "Very good!" the stockboy says, "now spell dog, as in dogmatic. "
The lady getting frustrated spells it correct. Now the employee finally asks "now spell, Fuck, as in potatoes. "
She replies "There is no Fuck in potatoes?"
To which the stockboy replies "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THE WHOLE TIME!"
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Fish! HARD!