Friday Funnys

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z00m's picture

Posts: 1086

Date Joined: 10/05/14

Excellent

Fri, 2017-02-24 07:59

Great selection this week Ledge! 

Iceman's picture

Posts: 745

Date Joined: 17/03/09

Son & Dad

Fri, 2017-02-24 09:53

 Son:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter"
Father: "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.
I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.
"The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later ...
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that.Angela is also your sister."
This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,
he went straight to his mother crying.
Son:"Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says: "My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him He isn't your father."

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Twelve priests were about to be ordained.
The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy and beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.
Each priest had a small bell attached to his penis and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same lack of response from all the priests until she got to the final priest.
As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell clattering to the ground.
Embarrassed,he took a few steps forward, bent over to pick it up –
and all eleven bells went off.

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Smartline Personal Mortgage Advisers - Level 1, 11 Hobsons Gate Currambine 

0448122208

Iceman's picture

Posts: 745

Date Joined: 17/03/09

Disney Classic

Fri, 2017-02-24 09:56

  meme and text

____________________________________________________________________________

Smartline Personal Mortgage Advisers - Level 1, 11 Hobsons Gate Currambine 

0448122208

sea-kem's picture

Posts: 14833

Date Joined: 30/11/09

 Ha ha ha gold

Fri, 2017-02-24 10:04

 Ha ha ha gold

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Love the West!

Bones 79's picture

Posts: 121

Date Joined: 12/02/14

 That's great iceman

Fri, 2017-02-24 22:48

 That's great iceman

Posts: 286

Date Joined: 21/07/14

  Alcohol Liquor

Sat, 2017-02-25 09:34

 

Alcohol
Liquor manufacturers may have to accept the government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol beverage containers: 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked. 
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WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may mack you tink you kan tpye reel gode.