John:    Morning!    Looking for a new car?
Bryan:    Nope.    Prime Minister, actually.
John:    You’re the third one this morning.    Anything in mind?
Bryan:    You know....... nothing fancy, reliable, economical family model.    Something to get the country from A to B.

John:    You mean like a Howard?
Bryan:    Yeah....a little Johnny.    Nothing flash, does the job.    Low maintenance, economical, sensible.    Runs for years, no troubles.

John:    So..... you used to have one?
Bryan:    Yeah.    About 10 years.    Great little model – don’t know why I got rid of him --biggest mistake I’ve ever made…

John:    What happened?
Bryan:    Traded him in for a Kevin 07.
John:    Big mistake…
Bryan:    Lot of people bought it.    Good political mileage.
John:    How was the Kevin 07?
Bryan:    Came with a $900 factory rebate – that was good.
John:    Anything else?
Bryan:    Not much.    Sounded nice but nothing under the bonnet.    It was a lemon.
John:    Didn’t stick around for long did it?
Bryan:    Nah – had a factory recall.    Shipped overseas and was never seen again.
John:    What was the problem?
Bryan:    Lots.    But the final straw was the navigation system.    Plug it in and it automatically loses its own way.
John:    Whatcha got now?
Bryan:    It’s a Gillard-Brown.
John:    The hybrid?
Bryan:    Yeah.    The Eco-drive system – not a good idea.    An engine that can’t deliver hooked up to a transmission stuck in permanent reverse…

John:    Green paintwork with a red interior.    And steering that always lurches to the left for no apparent reason – that’s the one?

Bryan:    The Fustercluck model.
John:    The only one they made, Bryan.    Not the vehicle of choice for the road to recovery – but did they finish up fixing the navigation system?

Bryan:    Made it worse.    Turn it on and it does a press release, heads off in all directions and goes nowhere.
John:    So that’s why you’re here?
Bryan:    That’s right.    I’m stuck with a model that's wasteful, expensive, ineffective and past its use by date..    I don’t suppose you’ve heard of the “Cash for Clunkers” scheme?

John:    Join the queue brother.