Friday funnys


chris raff's picture

Posts: 3257

Date Joined: 09/02/10

Andy's Wasted ...

Fri, 2014-08-15 07:56

Andy's Wasted ...

____________________________________________________________________________

Intelligence is like a four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.”

sea-kem's picture

Posts: 14857

Date Joined: 30/11/09

 Ha ha could be a rellie of

Fri, 2014-08-15 17:45

 Ha ha could be a rellie of mine :P 

____________________________________________________________________________

Love the West!

Paul H's picture

Posts: 2104

Date Joined: 18/01/07

ROLF'S LATEST SONG. THE

Fri, 2014-08-15 09:49

ROLF'S LATEST SONG.

THE JUDGE IS SENDING ME DOWN, SPORT.

There's an old Australian entertainer, sighing, crying
And he shrugs off his legal team
And he turns to the reporters, gathered all around him
And he says
Won’t have much hope for a grope, bloke
Won’t have much hope for a grope
At my age I can’t bend for the soap, bloke
I’ll have no hope of a grope

All together now
The judge is sending me down, sport
Judge is sending me down
The news is all over town, sport
The judge is sending me down

It was only a compliment love, guv
Just a compliment love
There’s no need to cry “Heavens Above”, guv
Just a compliment love

All together now
The judge is sending me down, sport
Judge is sending me down
The news is all over town, sport
The judge is sending me down

A non-paying guest of the Queen, bean
A non-paying guest of the Queen
Should’ve sacked me legal team, bean
Now I’m gonna get me bum reamed

All together now
The judge is sending me down, sport
Judge is sending me down
The news is all over town, sport
The judge is sending me down

____________________________________________________________________________

Youtube Channel  -  FishOnLine Productions

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbUVNa-ViyGm_FTDSv4Nqzg/videos

7739ian's picture

Posts: 948

Date Joined: 25/06/08

Rolf

Fri, 2014-08-15 10:03

There's a chance for a whole album!

 " I'm Rolf the Paed"

 " 2 Little Boys" - a certain winner

 " 6 Small Bloomers" - and on you go.

crasny1's picture

Posts: 6986

Date Joined: 16/10/08

Thought you retired from the site!

Fri, 2014-08-15 11:49

Nice to see you back Jack!

____________________________________________________________________________

"I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact!!" _ Elon Musk

tim-o's picture

Posts: 4657

Date Joined: 24/05/11

Would like more info about

Fri, 2014-08-15 13:15

Would like more info about that boat capsizing, bizzare????

____________________________________________________________________________

I am, as I've said, merely competent. But in an age of incompetence, that makes me extraordinary.

Posts: 6265

Date Joined: 26/04/14

 It's on you tube backed up

Fri, 2014-08-15 13:18

 It's on you tube backed up to fast on the marlin 

Alan James's picture

Posts: 2206

Date Joined: 30/06/09

Here is the story

Fri, 2014-08-15 13:24

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/31/marlin-sinks-fishing-boat_n_2591414.html

____________________________________________________________________________

      

tim-o's picture

Posts: 4657

Date Joined: 24/05/11

(No subject)

Fri, 2014-08-15 13:34

____________________________________________________________________________

I am, as I've said, merely competent. But in an age of incompetence, that makes me extraordinary.

Dale's picture

Posts: 7930

Date Joined: 13/09/05

.

Fri, 2014-08-15 18:18

 Gee Tim, you sure trawl through some sus web sites.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."

Mr Wolf

 

 

sandbar's picture

Posts: 704

Date Joined: 25/10/09

octopus

Fri, 2014-08-15 17:34

I'd like to see it wrapped on the front of the bikini in  picture

 

 

fishy fingers's picture

Posts: 1719

Date Joined: 28/04/07

Lighthouse pic

Fri, 2014-08-15 18:09

 I understand (but cant verify it) but seconds after this pic was taken the guy was washed to his death.

Posts: 2318

Date Joined: 03/05/06

Lighthouse pic

Fri, 2014-08-15 23:27

"French photographer, Jean Guichard, is best known for his explosive 'Wave' photograph of a lighthouse, off the coast of Brittany, France, showing a keeper at the door about to be engulfed by a titanic wave. The photograph is truly one of the most recognizable lighthouse photographs in the world. When first seeing the famous photograph, most people assume that the lighthouse keeper must have been killed.

In fact, the keepers had been living in fear of death during the 1989 storm and at one point had taken refuge in the lantern room of the tower. Waves the night before had smashed through the lower windows of the tower, causing the structure to flood, washing away everything in its path including the television, table, chairs, coffee maker and even the refrigerator. The keepers in fact were waiting to be rescued by helicopter.

As Jean Guichard’s helicopter approached the tower he was unaware that the keepers were waiting for a rescue helicopter. Guichard was simply there to take photographs of the waves pounding the structure. The keepers heard the sound of the helicopter and naturally assumed it was the rescue helicopter. One of the keepers opened the lower door of the structure and as he looked up at the helicopter and realized that it was not the rescue chopper, he also realized that a giant wave was about to engulf the tower. He immediately turned about and pulled the door closed behind him. Had he not done so at that second, he surely would have been killed. While all this was happening, Jean Guichard was busy taking photographs as fast as he could click the camera, thus capturing on film the most dramatic action shots ever taken at a lighthouse."

sea-kem's picture

Posts: 14857

Date Joined: 30/11/09

 Prime Minister Tony Abbott

Sun, 2014-08-17 09:53

 Prime Minister Tony Abbott walks into a local bank in Manly to cash a cheque. He is surrounded by Protective Security Officers. As he approaches the teller he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"
Teller:
"It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"
Abbott:
"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Tony Abbott, the Prime Minister of Australia !!!!"
Teller:
"Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of the war on terror, imposters, forgers, money laundering, the GFC, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Abbott:
“Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Teller:
"I am sorry Mr. Prime Minister but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Abbott:
"I am urging you, please, to cash this cheque. I need to buy a gift for Margie for Valentine’s Day"
Teller:
"Look Mr. Prime Minister, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Greg Norman came into one of our bank branches without ID. To prove he was Greg Norman he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a coffee cup. With that shot we knew him to be Greg Norman and cashed his cheque.”
“Another time, Pat Rafter came into the same place without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where as the tennis ball landed in a coffee cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque.
So, Mr. Prime Minister, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the Prime Minister of Australia?"
Abbott:
Abbott stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and I don’t have a clue.”
Teller:
"50's and 20's be OK, Mr. Prime Minister?

____________________________________________________________________________

Love the West!

sea-kem's picture

Posts: 14857

Date Joined: 30/11/09

 <

Sun, 2014-08-17 11:58

 <

____________________________________________________________________________

Love the West!