Friday funnys
Submitted by ledge64 on Fri, 2014-08-15 07:13
Enjoy 
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chris raff
Posts: 3257
Date Joined: 09/02/10
Andy's Wasted ...
Andy's Wasted ...
“Intelligence is like a four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.”
sea-kem
Posts: 15031
Date Joined: 30/11/09
Ha ha could be a rellie of
Ha ha could be a rellie of mine :P
Love the West!
Paul H
Posts: 2104
Date Joined: 18/01/07
ROLF'S LATEST SONG. THE
ROLF'S LATEST SONG.
THE JUDGE IS SENDING ME DOWN, SPORT.
There's an old Australian entertainer, sighing, crying
And he shrugs off his legal team
And he turns to the reporters, gathered all around him
And he says
Won’t have much hope for a grope, bloke
Won’t have much hope for a grope
At my age I can’t bend for the soap, bloke
I’ll have no hope of a grope
All together now
The judge is sending me down, sport
Judge is sending me down
The news is all over town, sport
The judge is sending me down
It was only a compliment love, guv
Just a compliment love
There’s no need to cry “Heavens Above”, guv
Just a compliment love
All together now
The judge is sending me down, sport
Judge is sending me down
The news is all over town, sport
The judge is sending me down
A non-paying guest of the Queen, bean
A non-paying guest of the Queen
Should’ve sacked me legal team, bean
Now I’m gonna get me bum reamed
All together now
The judge is sending me down, sport
Judge is sending me down
The news is all over town, sport
The judge is sending me down
Youtube Channel - FishOnLine Productions
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbUVNa-ViyGm_FTDSv4Nqzg/videos
7739ian
Posts: 948
Date Joined: 25/06/08
Rolf
There's a chance for a whole album!
" I'm Rolf the Paed"
" 2 Little Boys" - a certain winner
" 6 Small Bloomers" - and on you go.
crasny1
Posts: 7003
Date Joined: 16/10/08
Thought you retired from the site!
Nice to see you back Jack!
"I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact!!" _ Elon Musk
tim-o
Posts: 4657
Date Joined: 24/05/11
Would like more info about
I am, as I've said, merely competent. But in an age of incompetence, that makes me extraordinary.
Deleted
Posts: 6265
Date Joined: 26/04/14
It's on you tube backed up
It's on you tube backed up to fast on the marlin
Alan James
Posts: 2228
Date Joined: 30/06/09
Here is the story
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/31/marlin-sinks-fishing-boat_n_2591414.html
tim-o
Posts: 4657
Date Joined: 24/05/11
(No subject)
I am, as I've said, merely competent. But in an age of incompetence, that makes me extraordinary.
Dale
Posts: 7930
Date Joined: 13/09/05
.
Gee Tim, you sure trawl through some sus web sites.
"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."
Mr Wolf
sandbar
Posts: 704
Date Joined: 25/10/09
octopus
I'd like to see it wrapped on the front of the bikini in picture
fishy fingers
Posts: 1719
Date Joined: 28/04/07
Lighthouse pic
I understand (but cant verify it) but seconds after this pic was taken the guy was washed to his death.
bod
Posts: 2321
Date Joined: 03/05/06
Lighthouse pic
"French photographer, Jean Guichard, is best known for his explosive 'Wave' photograph of a lighthouse, off the coast of Brittany, France, showing a keeper at the door about to be engulfed by a titanic wave. The photograph is truly one of the most recognizable lighthouse photographs in the world. When first seeing the famous photograph, most people assume that the lighthouse keeper must have been killed.
In fact, the keepers had been living in fear of death during the 1989 storm and at one point had taken refuge in the lantern room of the tower. Waves the night before had smashed through the lower windows of the tower, causing the structure to flood, washing away everything in its path including the television, table, chairs, coffee maker and even the refrigerator. The keepers in fact were waiting to be rescued by helicopter.
As Jean Guichard’s helicopter approached the tower he was unaware that the keepers were waiting for a rescue helicopter. Guichard was simply there to take photographs of the waves pounding the structure. The keepers heard the sound of the helicopter and naturally assumed it was the rescue helicopter. One of the keepers opened the lower door of the structure and as he looked up at the helicopter and realized that it was not the rescue chopper, he also realized that a giant wave was about to engulf the tower. He immediately turned about and pulled the door closed behind him. Had he not done so at that second, he surely would have been killed. While all this was happening, Jean Guichard was busy taking photographs as fast as he could click the camera, thus capturing on film the most dramatic action shots ever taken at a lighthouse."
sea-kem
Posts: 15031
Date Joined: 30/11/09
Prime Minister Tony Abbott
Prime Minister Tony Abbott walks into a local bank in Manly to cash a cheque. He is surrounded by Protective Security Officers. As he approaches the teller he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"
Teller:
"It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"
Abbott:
"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Tony Abbott, the Prime Minister of Australia !!!!"
Teller:
"Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of the war on terror, imposters, forgers, money laundering, the GFC, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Abbott:
“Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Teller:
"I am sorry Mr. Prime Minister but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Abbott:
"I am urging you, please, to cash this cheque. I need to buy a gift for Margie for Valentine’s Day"
Teller:
"Look Mr. Prime Minister, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Greg Norman came into one of our bank branches without ID. To prove he was Greg Norman he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a coffee cup. With that shot we knew him to be Greg Norman and cashed his cheque.”
“Another time, Pat Rafter came into the same place without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where as the tennis ball landed in a coffee cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque.
So, Mr. Prime Minister, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the Prime Minister of Australia?"
Abbott:
Abbott stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and I don’t have a clue.”
Teller:
"50's and 20's be OK, Mr. Prime Minister?
Love the West!
sea-kem
Posts: 15031
Date Joined: 30/11/09
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Love the West!