Friday Funnys
Submitted by ledge64 on Fri, 2015-02-20 07:18
Enjoy 
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.thumbnail.JPG "Nice bill..")
sea-kem
Posts: 14857
Date Joined: 30/11/09
Straya!
Straya!
Love the West!
groverwa
Posts: 286
Date Joined: 21/07/14
I was sent to prison and I
I was sent to prison and I said to my cell mate, "I won't be in here long."
groverwa
Posts: 286
Date Joined: 21/07/14
A Short Story One day,
A Short Story
Adam Gallash
Posts: 15610
Date Joined: 29/11/05
Joke
Roger, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old
Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door.
Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.
All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger,
Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling.
When the newlyweds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it - Roger is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action'.
And, once more they enjoy each other.
But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.'
Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: 'You mean I was here already?'
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Dale
Posts: 7930
Date Joined: 13/09/05
Very good Adam.
"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."
Mr Wolf
groverwa
Posts: 286
Date Joined: 21/07/14
Looks easy but it's not! I
Looks easy but it's not! I dare you to do this and don't cheat!!!! Surprising results
THIS MAY BE A "little" DIFFICULT FOR ALL WHO ARE OVER 40 ...THOSE YOUNGER THAN THIS WILL HAVE NO HOPE AT ALL.
DEMENTIA QUIZ
FIRST QUESTION:
YOU ARE A PARTICIPANT IN A RACE. YOU OVERTAKE
THE SECOND PERSON. WHAT POSITION ARE YOU IN?
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
ANSWER : IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE FIRST,
THEN YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG! IF YOU OVERTAKE THE
SECOND PERSON AND YOU TAKE HIS PLACE, YOU ARE IN SECOND PLACE!
TRY TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME.
NOW ANSWER THE SECOND QUESTION,
BUT DON'T TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS
YOU TOOK FOR THE FIRST QUESTION, OK?
SECOND QUESTION:
IF YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON, THEN YOU ARE....?
(SCROLL DOWN)
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
ANSWER: IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE SECOND TO LAST, THEN YOU ARE.....
WRONG AGAIN. TELL ME SUNSHINE, HOW CAN YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON??
YOU'RE NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS, ARE YOU?
THIRD QUESTION:
VERY TRICKY ARITHMETIC! NOTE:
THIS MUST BE DONE IN YOUR HEAD ONLY.
DO NOT USE PAPER AND PENCIL OR A CALCULATOR.
TRY IT.
TAKE 1000 AND ADD 40 TO IT. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000 NOW ADD 30.
ADD ANOTHER 1000. NOW ADD 20 .. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000.
NOW ADD 10. WHAT IS THE TOTAL?
SCROLL DOWN FOR THE CORRECT ANSWER.....
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
DID YOU GET 5000?
THE CORRECT ANSWER IS ACTUALLY 4100...
IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IT, CHECK IT WITH A CALCULATOR!
TODAY IS DEFINITELY NOT YOUR DAY, IS IT?
MAYBE YOU'LL GET THE LAST QUESTION RIGHT.... MAYBE...
FOURTH QUESTION:
MARY'S FATHER HAS FIVE DAUGHTERS:
NANA, NENE, NINI, NONO, AND ??? WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE FIFTH DAUGHTER?
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
DID YOU ANSWER NUNU? NO! OF COURSE IT ISN'T.
HER NAME IS MARY! READ THE QUESTION AGAIN!
OKAY, NOW THE BONUS ROUND,
I.E., A FINAL CHANCE TO
REDEEM YOURSELF:
A MUTE PERSON GOES INTO A SHOP AND WANTS TO BUY A TOOTHBRUSH. BY IMITATING THE ACTION OF BRUSHING HIS TEETH HE
SUCCESSFULLY EXPRESSES HIMSELF TO THE SHOPKEEPER AND THE PURCHASE IS DONE. NEXT, A BLIND MAN COMES INTO THE SHOP WHO WANTS TO BUY A PAIR OF SUNGLASSES; HOW DOES HE INDICATE WHAT HE WANTS?
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
IT'S REALLY VERY SIMPLE
HE OPENS HIS MOUTH AND ASKS FOR IT...
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
PASS THIS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE
SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
HAVE A NICE DAY ONE AND ALL.
Dale
Posts: 7930
Date Joined: 13/09/05
Shit, I got the last one right, but stuffed up the others, too many beers for me.
"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."
Mr Wolf
Shark1
Posts: 1084
Date Joined: 21/05/12
if u overtake the last person
if u overtake the last person in a race u r still in first place- as u would have lapped the last person
turtl3tim
Posts: 203
Date Joined: 01/01/15
dale...i got everything apart
dale...i got everything apart from the last one haha. together we will conquer the world
Good things come to those who bait.