Friday Funnys

 Enjoy from Downtown Bali 

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Posts: 201

Date Joined: 21/07/14

Circumcision

Fri, 2017-03-17 07:52

 

 here today gone tomorrow
Two little boys are going to the hospital the next day for operations.

Theirs will be first on the schedule.

The older boy leans over and asks,

"What are you having done?"

The second boy says, "I'm getting my tonsils out, and I'm afraid."

The first boy says, "You've got nothing to worry about.

I had that done when I was four.

They put you to sleep, and when you wake up, they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."

The second boy then asks, "What are you going in for?"

The first boy says, "Circumcision."

"Whoa!" the smaller boy replies.

"Good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born. 

Couldn't walk for a year."

Posts: 201

Date Joined: 21/07/14

  Social Skills Our catering

Fri, 2017-03-17 07:53

 

Social Skills
Our catering manager lacks certain social skills ... like knowing 
when to keep her mouth shut.

While discussing a baby christening party with a young couple, she 
told the mother, "You look like you've lost most of your pregnancy weight."

"Thanks," came the clenched-teeth reply. "We adopted."
Dale's picture

Posts: 5344

Date Joined: 13/09/05

Fri, 2017-03-17 10:49

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.

He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon, he asks the drunk, “Are you ready to find Jesus?”

The drunk shouts, “Yes, I am!”

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him back and asks, “Brother, have you found Jesus?”

The drunk replies, “No, I haven’t found Jesus.”

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks, “Have you found Jesus, brother?”

The drunk answers, “No, I haven’t found Jesus!”

By this time, the preacher is at his wit’s end and dunks the drunk again – but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up.

The preacher again asks the drunk, “For the love of God, have you found Jesus?!”

The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water, catches his breath, and says to the preacher, “Are you sure this is where he fell in?”

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"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."

Mr Wolf

 

 

Posts: 209

Date Joined: 20/02/11

Tea is more dangerous than

Fri, 2017-03-17 17:05

Tea is more dangerous than beer. Please avoid drinking tea.

I discovered this last night.

I had 14 beers till 3am at the pub with some friends while my wife was just drinking tea at home.

You should have seen how violent and angry she was when I got home.

I was peaceful, silent and headed to bed as she shouted at me, all night and even into the next morning.

Please ladies, if you can't handle your tea, don't drink it..

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Mulie