Friday Funnys
Submitted by ledge64 on Fri, 2017-06-02 07:34
Enjoy 
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Wes F
Posts: 1060
Date Joined: 07/01/12
For me the lyrics From Iron Maiden
"Run to the hills run for your lives" come to mind on both occasions.
Old fishermen never die they just smell that way.
crasny1
Posts: 6986
Date Joined: 16/10/08
0,6,8,9,2,4,1
0,6,8,9,2,4,1
"I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact!!" _ Elon Musk
speedy
Posts: 40
Date Joined: 03/07/09
You missed 3
You missed 3
speedy
Posts: 40
Date Joined: 03/07/09
You missed 3
You missed 3
groverwa
Posts: 286
Date Joined: 21/07/14
It just hit me: My dog
It just hit me: My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.He has his food prepared for him.
He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.
He visits the doctor once a year for his check-up,
and again during the year if any medical needs arise.
For all this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.
He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs,
but he is not required to do any upkeep.
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up for him.
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.
He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.
All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me:
My dog is a politician!
chris raff
Posts: 3257
Date Joined: 09/02/10
1 ) Coupla Sailor Jerrys ,
1 ) Coupla Sailor Jerrys , skip the foreplay ouch ..tap and run
“Intelligence is like a four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.”
timmy k (not verified)
Posts: 23
Date Joined: 01/01/70
Geez
You're not fussy ey?
ricey
Posts: 734
Date Joined: 24/12/09
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0
But I had to get creative for the 5!
Wise man says - first take the plank out of your own eye before trying to take the speck out of somebody else's.
Pauldarie
Posts: 55
Date Joined: 25/05/11
5
are you using roman numerals Ricey.....haha...
ricey
Posts: 734
Date Joined: 24/12/09
Creative ... on a slant
Top of five is the top of the 6 , the bottom part of the 9.... bit curvy of the vertical part...
Wise man says - first take the plank out of your own eye before trying to take the speck out of somebody else's.
groverwa
Posts: 286
Date Joined: 21/07/14
TRUE
Son to Dad - Do you know that in some countries the man does not know his wife until they get married.
crasny1
Posts: 6986
Date Joined: 16/10/08
LOL, so true
LOL, so true
"I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact!!" _ Elon Musk
bleicester
Posts: 219
Date Joined: 10/09/14
First time
I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.
‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked.
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.
‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’ So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOWWWWWWWW, I was done within a few moments.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked.
I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.
She fainted.”
Error 404
Fish not found
Sam57
Posts: 104
Date Joined: 17/08/14
Thousands of numbers if u
Thousands of numbers if u add all permutations of numbers 1,2,3,4,6,7,8,9 & 0
MHWOODY86 (not verified)
Posts: 23
Date Joined: 01/01/70
"Fuk" its Monday already
How many numbers can you see! Only 1, 604
Blind date!,,,Give it a mouth guard