Friday Funnys


Posts: 164

Date Joined: 19/06/14

Dogs name

Fri, 2017-08-04 07:37

 Marty Feldman.... 

For those who don't know him Google images will help out...

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 My wife understands why I clean my rods n reels in the shower....

 

ricey's picture

Posts: 567

Date Joined: 24/12/09

dog's name

Fri, 2017-08-04 07:51

 Damian Monkhorst

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Wise man says - first take the plank out of your own eye before trying to take the speck out of somebody else's.

crasny1's picture

Posts: 6573

Date Joined: 16/10/08

Ripley - I think it met

Fri, 2017-08-04 07:54

Ripley - I think it met Alien!

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"I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact!!" _ Elon Musk

Callum24's picture

Posts: 906

Date Joined: 24/06/12

Dogs name

Fri, 2017-08-04 08:20

Hutch

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 Qualified carpet layer available for jobs big and small 

Posts: 232

Date Joined: 21/07/14

 A man was walking in the

Fri, 2017-08-04 11:18

 A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice:

''Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall on your head and kill you.''
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.
The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted: ''Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die.''
The man did as he was instructed, and a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
''Where are you?'' the man asked. ''Who are you?''
''I am your guardian angel,'' the voice answered.
''Oh yeah?'' the man asked. ''And where the hell were you when I got married?''

Posts: 61

Date Joined: 07/12/13

Your going fishing !

Fri, 2017-08-04 13:38

 

 

A man says to his missus im taking you n the dog fishing today....
She says you are not.....  so he replies you got 3 choices.


1. You suck my cock.
2. You take it up the arse
3. You come fishing.


She says ill suck your dick.
He lobs it out and she starts noshing him...
After 3 sucks she spits on the floor and says..
Fuck, you cock tastes like shit...
He says yeah i know, dog didnt want to go either....

Posts: 4148

Date Joined: 17/06/10

Thieves bandits and other low life

Fri, 2017-08-04 20:27

Two old blokes where standing at the bar in a pub talking and the subject got around to outlaw gangs in different countries.

Arrrh said one of the men, isn't it strange how different countries have their own illegal gangs, Italy has the Costra Notra, America has the mob, Bolivia has the Meninin gang.

Who have we got that can compare with those vicious gangs,

Hmmm says the other old bloke, wait I know, the Commonwealth Bank, I see in the paper today this is the third time they have been caught with their illegal activities.