Friday Funnys
Submitted by ledge64 on Fri, 2011-01-21 07:11
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alfred
Posts: 3097
Date Joined: 12/01/07
A farmer is sitting in the
A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. A man comes in and asks him, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So what happened that's so horrible?
Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket. Some things you just can't explain.
Man: Ok, but that's not so bad. So what happened then?
Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.
Man: and then?
Farmer: Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket. Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So, what did you do then?
Farmer: I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail. Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So, what did you do?
Farmer: Well, I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in... Some things you just can't explain.
tailor marc
Posts: 2979
Date Joined: 27/09/06
Q. Why do midgets laugh when
A. Because the grass tickles their balls
My photography pictures... http://westernhorizonsmedia.wordpress.com/
tailor marc
Posts: 2979
Date Joined: 27/09/06
>Man said to wife "Alright
>Man said to wife "Alright you sexy thing, bedroom now."
>
>She looked at him and said, "Ooh, you kinky bastard."
>
>He said, "No, seriously, the footy's about to start, f%!k off!"
My photography pictures... http://westernhorizonsmedia.wordpress.com/
hlokk
Posts: 4293
Date Joined: 04/04/08
A man wins the lottery and
A man wins the lottery and runs home to tell his wife.
"I've just won the lottery! Pack your bags!"
The wife is really excited, "Should I pack for hot or cold?"
"I don't care, just get the hell out of here!"
scottland
Posts: 3040
Date Joined: 10/05/10
a wife says to husband
if you ever win the lotto im taking half half and leaving
the husband says perfect i won $20 heres $10 f%&k off
i support two teams eagles and whoever is playing the dockers
bowds
Posts: 70
Date Joined: 12/01/11
Two Kiwis Ian and Craig are
Two Kiwis Ian and Craig are walking down a street in Bondi. Ian happens to look in one of the
shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye.
The sign said 'Suits $10.00 each, Shirts $4.00 each, Trousers $5.00 per pair'
Ian says to his pal, ' Craig, look! We could buy a whole lot of those, and whin
we get beck to InZid, we could make a fortune.
Now whin we go unto the shop, you be quiet, okay? Just lit me do all the talking cause uf they
hear our accint, they might not be nice to us. I'll speak in my bist Aussie accint.'
'No worries, smiled Craig, I'll keep my mouth shut.'
They go in and Ian says, 'I'll take fufty suits et $10.00 each, 100 shirts et $4.00 each,
and fufty pairs of trousers et $5.00 each. I'll beck up my truck and...'
The owner of the shop interrupts, 'You're from New Zealand, aren't you?'
'Well... Yis,' says a surprised Ian. 'How the hill dud you know thet?'
The owner says, 'This is a dry cleaners'.
460 Dory w/ 60hp Evinrude eTech.
H Days!
bowds
Posts: 70
Date Joined: 12/01/11
Dear people who say they're a
Dear people who say they're a ninja when they catch things after dropping
them, Ninjas don't drop things.
Sincerely, a ninja
Dear Lady Gaga,
It's ok. I have a st-stuttering problem too.
Sincerely, P-p-p-porky the Pig
Dear old men at the gym,
Wearing short shorts does not make your manhood look any more attractive.
Sincerely, the world
Dear Peter Pan,
Sneaking around a child's bedroom and inviting them to neverland? Been
there, done that.
Sincerely, Michael Jackson
Dear 16 and Pregnant,
Thanks for helping me feel better about my life.
Sincerely, 21 and single
Dear man in the car picking his nose,
Please realize that just because you are in your car doesn't mean you are
hidden from the world.
Sincerely, I can see you
Dear skin colored band aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely, black people
Dear future employer,
Please ignore those Facebook photos from college. I can explain.
Sincerely, misbehaved
Dear optimist,
That's not a light at the end of the tunnel, that's the train.
Sincerely, pessimist
Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just
saying...
Sincerely, Google
Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF
happened?!
Sincerely, 1985
Dear girls making kissy faces on Myspace and Facebook, There's a reason
we close our eyes when we kiss.
Sincerely, boys.
Dear Cupcakes, The fact that you cover yourselves up with icing says a
lot about your self-esteem.
Sincerely, Muffins.
Dear Cat, Sorry for hoisting you into the air whenever 'The Circle of
Life' plays.
Sincerely, a Lion King enthusiast.
Dear Fox News, So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely, Unimpressed.
Dear Icebergs,Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,The Titanic
Dear Short People, No I don't play basketball, do you play miniature
golf?
Sincerely,Tall Person
Dear shower curtain,
Please never let there be a murderer behind you.
Sincerely,I look every time
460 Dory w/ 60hp Evinrude eTech.
H Days!
dkonig82
Posts: 2091
Date Joined: 06/07/10
Nice one mate 100% agree with
Nice one mate
100% agree with this 'duck face' thing!
"Dear girls making kissy faces on Myspace and Facebook, There's a reason
we close our eyes when we kiss.
Sincerely, boys."
This girl is a repeat offender!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM4z8vRiljs&feature=fvst
When asked by a non-fisherman 'how many fishing rods do you really need?' the correct answer is either:
n+1 (where n is the number of fishing rods you currently own); or
n-1 (where n is the number of fishing rods which would cause your significant other to dump you.
hlokk
Posts: 4293
Date Joined: 04/04/08
www.antiduckface.com ...
www.antiduckface.com ... You have been warned
Mick
Posts: 501
Date Joined: 28/08/06
She must have some seriously
She must have some seriously f^&ked up teeth. She's got some nice friends though
If the lord did not mean for us to eat fish and game, he wouldn't have made them outta meat
The speed of light is faster than the speed of sound. That's why so many people appear bright...until they speak.
ish_lovesfishing
Posts: 217
Date Joined: 24/02/10
great stuff!
great stuff, look forward to the friday funnys
ish
bross
Posts: 15
Date Joined: 13/11/09
hear that hollywood actress
hear that hollywood actress got stabbed last night in bed, popular actress reece??????????????????????????
famous-when?
hlokk
Posts: 4293
Date Joined: 04/04/08
Withaknife?
Withaknife?
bross
Posts: 15
Date Joined: 13/11/09
Yeh hlokk, spoons are way to
Yeh hlokk, spoons are way to blunt.
famous-when?