Friday Funnys


carnarvonite's picture

Posts: 8627

Date Joined: 24/07/07

Manners

Fri, 2019-07-05 07:26

 Like the last one says, no elbows on the table, no hats or caps to be worn inside a building let alone placed on a table and WTF was a cell phone in the 50ies or one with push buttons

crasny1's picture

Posts: 6986

Date Joined: 16/10/08

Colonoscopy All the organs

Fri, 2019-07-05 07:56

Colonoscopy

All the organs of the body were having a meeting
Trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
And insulted him,
So in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache
The stomach was bloated,
The legs got wobbly,
The eyes got watery,
And the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss

The Moral of the story?
Even though the others do all the work..
The ass hole is usually in charge

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"I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact!!" _ Elon Musk

Alan James's picture

Posts: 2206

Date Joined: 30/06/09

Evolution

Fri, 2019-07-05 10:52

 

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Dale's picture

Posts: 7930

Date Joined: 13/09/05

Fri, 2019-07-05 14:06

Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is."Father:
"Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future.
Do you understand son?"Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.The next morning he reported to his father.Son: "Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is."Father: "Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"Son: "Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Shit.

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"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."

Mr Wolf

 

 

Faulkner Family's picture

Posts: 17863

Date Joined: 11/03/08

 the evolution one is a

Fri, 2019-07-05 19:04

 the evolution one is a pearler. 

eating in the 50s i couldnt say but wasnt much diff in the 70s and 80s . 

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RUSS and SANDY. A family that fishes together stays together

Jackfrost80's picture

Posts: 8050

Date Joined: 07/05/12

I still love eating at

Sat, 2019-07-06 09:27

I still love eating at nanna's place. Soup and then silverside and veges covered with white sauce polished off with apple pie with cream and custard and I wouldn't dare place my elbow upon her table.

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Officially off the Pies bandwagon

Faulkner Family's picture

Posts: 17863

Date Joined: 11/03/08

 can certainly relate to

Sat, 2019-07-06 16:15

 can certainly relate to elbows on table. my grandpop would sneek up and grab your wrist and band your elbow hard onto a solid jarrah table, you learn after the first time

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RUSS and SANDY. A family that fishes together stays together