From what I've read the server is in nsw and the storms may be having an impact on the site. Adam is waiting on a response  there is another post called slow response has a small explanation 

Cheers two weeks in a row

A Virginia man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive. It was, and she said to her husband "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?" He says "Okay get in the car with it". "Where shall I put it to get it warm?" He says "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there". "But what about the smell?" "Just hold its little nose". The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene.

husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the wife said "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at the same time". The husband thought for a few moments, then said "Your **fish** is tighter than your sister's".

An elderly couple were enjoying the evening swinging on the front porch and looking at the beautiful sunset.

After a few minutes the old lady reaches over and knocks the hell out of the man who goes flying off the porch and into the bushes.

The old man slowly gets up and makes his way back to his seat next to his wife on the swing. He sits there for a few minutes and then asks "What was that for?" She replies "That's for having a small one!"

A few more minutes go by and the man reaches over and knocks the hell out of his wife, who also goes flying off the porch and into the bushes. She slowly gets up and makes her way back to her seat next to the old man.

She sits here a few minutes and then asks "What was that for?" He replies "That's for knowing there was more than one size!"

A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away.

She said "But we don't know anything about each other". He said "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along".

So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a resort.

One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 metre board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife.

After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.

She said "That was incredible!" He said "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along".

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps.

After seventy-five laps she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel and was hardly out of breath. He said "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?" "No" she said "I was a prostitute, but I worked both sides of the river!"

Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle.

He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a

'for sale' sign on it.

The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in mint condition.

He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub

Vaseline on the chrome.
It protects it from the rain, and he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.  
Naturally, they take the bike there.

Just before they enter the house,  
Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family.

'When we eat dinner, we don't talk.

In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

'No problem,' he says.. And in they go.

Joe is shocked.
Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks.
Dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
He leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.

He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table  
and screws her, right there in front of her parents.

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom  
horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom. She's got a great body too.

Joe grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and  
screws her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table.

She has a big orgasm, & Joe sits down.

His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, & Mom is beaming from ear to ear. But still....Total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father shouts.
I'll do the f*%ckin’ dishes!!