What do you call a fish with no eye?
FSH!!!! (I told you they were bad)

How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut it's nose off

What is the fastest fish in the sea?
Go-carp.

What did the mummy sardine say to her children when they saw a submarine?
Don't worry, it's only a tin of people.

If fish lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland.

What did one rock pool say to the other rock pool?
Show me your mussels.

How do you kiss a pike?
Very carefully

What sits at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck.

What has big sharp teeth, a tail, scales, and a trunk?
A pike going on holiday.

Fly-fisherman's wife: "Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend