A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghan Desert .
During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.
He asked the Sergeant why the camel was kept there.
The nervous sergeant said, 'Sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women.Sometimes the men have urges. That's why we have Molly The Camel.
The Captain said, 'I can't say that I condone this, but I can understand about the 'urges', so the camel can stay.'
About a month later, the Captain starts having his own 'urges'.
Crazed with passion, he asked the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent.
Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild and insane sex with the camel.
When he's done, he asked the Sergeant, 'Is that how the men do it?'
'No sir. They usually just ride the camel into town. That's where the girls are."
Bill and Tom work at the local sawmill. Bill is very accident prone. One day Bill slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw.
Tom quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill to the local hospital.
Next day, Tom goes to the hospital and asks about Bill. The nurse says, "Oh he's out in Rehab exercising". Tom couldn't believe it, but there's Bill out in the back exercising his now reattached arm.
The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill.
Couple of days go by, and then Bill slips and severs his leg on another big saw.
So Tom puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill off to the hospital.
Next day he goes to see him and asks the nurse how he is. The nurse replies, "He's out in the Rehab again exercising". And sure enough, there's Bill out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. And Bill comes back to work.
But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs his head. Wearily Tom puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Bill to the hospital.
Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Bill is. The nurse breaks down and cries and says, "He's dead."
Tom is shocked, but not surprised, and says to the nurse, "I suppose the saw finally did him in."
"No," says the nurse. "Some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated!"
From: NewsComAu October 26, 2010 A 21-YEAR-OLD man has been charged by police in Ipswich for allegedly tattooing a penis on a man's back - instead of the image he had requested. Alternatively, you can copy and paste this link into your browser:
Timmo
Posts: 258
Date Joined: 01/03/10
........
A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghan Desert .
During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess
tent.
He asked the Sergeant why the camel was kept there.
The nervous sergeant said, 'Sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post
and no women.Sometimes the men have urges. That's why we have Molly The Camel.
The Captain said, 'I can't say that I condone this, but I can understand about the 'urges',
so the camel can stay.'
About a month later, the Captain starts having his own 'urges'.
Crazed with passion, he asked the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent.
Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants
down and has wild and insane sex with the camel.
When he's done, he asked the Sergeant, 'Is that how the men do it?'
'No sir. They usually just ride the camel into town. That's where the girls are."
hemi
Posts: 349
Date Joined: 17/01/10
Hahahaha nice one
Hahahaha nice one
alfred
Posts: 3097
Date Joined: 12/01/07
Sign over a Gynecologist's
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
**************************
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
**************************
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
**************************
At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit, please back in."
**************************
At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."
**************************
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
**************************
On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
**************************
On a Church's Bill board:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
**************************
At a Tire Shop in Joondalup :
"Invite us to your next blowout."
**************************
At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
**************************
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
**************************
In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
**************************
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push Push. Push."
**************************
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
**************************
On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
**************************
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet -
miss a car payment."
**************************
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
**************************
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
**************************
At the Electric Company
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
**************************
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry;
come on in and get fed up."
**************************
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
**************************
At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills."
**************************
And don't forget the sign at a
WANGARRA RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."
**************************
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"
Freo_Boi
Posts: 266
Date Joined: 23/02/10
HAHA
Bill and Tom work at the local sawmill. Bill is very accident prone. One day Bill slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw.
Tom quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill to the local hospital.
Next day, Tom goes to the hospital and asks about Bill. The nurse says, "Oh he's out in Rehab exercising". Tom couldn't believe it, but there's Bill out in the back exercising his now reattached arm.
The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill.
Couple of days go by, and then Bill slips and severs his leg on another big saw.
So Tom puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill off to the hospital.
Next day he goes to see him and asks the nurse how he is. The nurse replies, "He's out in the Rehab again exercising". And sure enough, there's Bill out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. And Bill comes back to work.
But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs his head. Wearily Tom puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Bill to the hospital.
Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Bill is. The nurse breaks down and cries and says, "He's dead."
Tom is shocked, but not surprised, and says to the nurse, "I suppose the saw finally did him in."
"No," says the nurse. "Some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated!"
Adam Gallash
Posts: 15665
Date Joined: 29/11/05
Oops
NewsComAu
Tattooist charged over 40cm penis tattoo
From: NewsComAu
October 26, 2010
A 21-YEAR-OLD man has been charged by police in Ipswich for allegedly tattooing a penis on a man's back - instead of the image he had requested.
Alternatively, you can copy and paste this link into your browser:
http://www.news.com.au/national/tattooist-charged-over-40cm-penis-tattoo-on-mans-back/story-e6frfkvr-1225943562755
Site Admin - Just ask if you need assistance
Adam Gallash
Posts: 15665
Date Joined: 29/11/05
Oldies
Site Admin - Just ask if you need assistance
Adam Gallash
Posts: 15665
Date Joined: 29/11/05
Classic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htU6qYsLsEE
Site Admin - Just ask if you need assistance
bod
Posts: 2321
Date Joined: 03/05/06
seriously funny
one of the funniest things I have seen.
crasny1
Posts: 7025
Date Joined: 16/10/08
I like this one
Involuntary Muscular Contractions
A University professor was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students.
Realising this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, 'Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'
She replied, 'probably out fishing with his buddies.'
It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom........
"I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact!!" _ Elon Musk
Timmo
Posts: 258
Date Joined: 01/03/10
almost made me cry funniest thing ive seen in a long time
http://wimp.com/faintingkittens/
Faulkner Family
Posts: 18319
Date Joined: 11/03/08
thats great, think of the
thats great, think of the party tricks you could do wth them
RUSS and SANDY. A family that fishes together stays together
Dreamtime
Posts: 664
Date Joined: 21/09/09
GOTTA SEE THIS!!!
omg watch this i lost the plot LOL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVE60zwXx1k&feature=related
Tony Halliday
Posts: 2500
Date Joined: 14/06/07
that is just so not
that is just so not right!!!!
and there I though Kermit had a hardlife with Miss Piggy !!!:-O
Tony Halliday: ~Meals on Reels ~
It takes a strong fish to swim against the current. Even a dead one can float with it
"It is always in season for old men to learn." Aeschylus (525-456 BC)
"In a mad world only the mad are sane." Akira Kurosawa (1910-1998)
Dreamtime
Posts: 664
Date Joined: 21/09/09
bahahaha
just saw the fainting kittens clip. lol thank god for the internet
grayzeee
Posts: 2283
Date Joined: 09/07/09
what's the hardest thing
what's the hardest thing about rollerblading???
telling your parents you're gay!
If I spent half as long fishing , as I do reading this bloody forum , I'd be twice the fisherman I am.