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Friday Funnys

Submitted by ledge64 on Fri, 2017-04-28 07:09

Enjoy

‹ Mindaire 29th Snapped part of skeg on outboard 60 hp 4 stroke ›
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Jackfrost80

Jackfrost80's picture

Posts: 8050

Date Joined: 07/05/12

One for Uncle

Fri, 2017-04-28 07:44

One for Uncle. More of a sad story than a 'funny' though.

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Officially off the Pies bandwagon

groverwa

Posts: 286

Date Joined: 21/07/14

 Once upon a time ..  The

Fri, 2017-04-28 08:59

 Once upon a time ..

 
 
The king called on the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours. The royal weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain for at least 4 days.
So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On the way he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer said,  "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area."
 
The king was polite and considerate, he replied: "Thanks for your concern, but don't worry. It's not going to rain today. I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional. And besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him."
 
So the king continued on his way. However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition.
 
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the professional. Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster.
 
The farmer said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtained the information about rain today from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain very soon." So the king hired the donkey instead.
 
And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in the government public service and occupy its highest and most influential positions.  The practice is unbroken to this day...
 

davmor

davmor's picture

Posts: 248

Date Joined: 29/11/11

 "SO TRUE". But there must be

Mon, 2017-05-01 05:43

 "SO TRUE". But there must be a story with a canine background to explain seat sniffing.

Dale

Dale's picture

Posts: 7930

Date Joined: 13/09/05

Sun, 2017-04-30 21:19

Murphy's other 15 laws:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
14 . God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.
15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

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"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."

Mr Wolf