just love the dog pic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFNBsAFdv0Q

Last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. As our passion began to heat up she said, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT?! What was that?!"

She said, "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The next day I took off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big department store. I walked around with her as she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to go with her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewelry counter where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. She was so excited. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet. I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No baby, I don't feel like it." Her face went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

Just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...

With the holidays upon us I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving I had last night.

As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends. Well last night I was out with friends for dinner and had several ciders followed by some rather nice wine. Feeling overdone I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit.

That's when I did something out of the ordinary - I took a taxi home!!!

Sure enough on the way home there was a police booze bus but since it was a taxi they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident and without losing my license.

This was a real surprise as I had never driven a taxi before, I don't remember where I got it from and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it!

Is there anyone who wishes to purchase a yellow Ford?

Merry Christmas!!

Cheers

Damo

IMPORTANT SAFETY MESSAGE

Out driving this holidays?

Be safe always: Please, take care of yourself. A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.

This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes who drink bottled water, Starbucks, soda, juice, energy drinks and shit like that.

Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol.

They cause three times as many accidents.

This message is sent to you by someone who is a drinker and worries about your safety.