Friday Funnys


Posts: 286

Date Joined: 21/07/14

 LAWS OF POLITICS ~​ 1:

Fri, 2016-10-14 08:24

 LAWS OF POLITICS ~​


1: When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong.

2: No matter what they are telling you, they are not telling you the whole truth.

3: No matter what they are talking about, they are talking about money.

4: First Political Principle: No politician talks taxes during an election year.

5: Law of Dispersal: Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

6: A good slogan beats a good solution.

7: Any bureaucracy reorganized to enhance efficiency is immediately indistinguishable from its predecessor.

8: Only a bureaucracy can fight a bureaucracy.

9: To beat the bureaucracy, make your problem their problem.

10: The organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank -- the really big lumps always rise to the top.

11: You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, and that's sufficient.

12: A proliferation of new laws creates a proliferation of new loopholes.

13: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

14: The length of time it takes a bill to pass through the legislature is in inverse proportion to the number of lobbying groups favoring it.

15: Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.

16: A fool and his money are soon elected.

17: Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

18: Baffle the people with bull scat and they will believe.

19: When a politician is talking to more than one person…Promise anything and everything… Then lie. Lie...
Ben85's picture

Posts: 442

Date Joined: 20/11/11

A boy comes home from school

Fri, 2016-10-14 09:23

A boy comes home from school at 7pm, his dad asks "where were you?"

"I was with Jessica" he replied

"What where you doing?"

"We were Studying"

After picking up a snack from the table the son says " these fish cakes are lovely"

To which the dad replies "Go and wash your hands son,they're fucking doughnuts"

 

Posts: 24

Date Joined: 10/01/11

4 words to ruin a date"Do You

Fri, 2016-10-14 09:29

4 words to ruin a date

"Do You Mind Paying?"

 

 

 

Dale's picture

Posts: 7930

Date Joined: 13/09/05

Fri, 2016-10-14 09:36

 No I don't Swallow.

____________________________________________________________________________

"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."

Mr Wolf

 

 

Krusty's picture

Posts: 714

Date Joined: 27/11/15

 4 words...Hi, I'm from

Fri, 2016-10-14 17:43

 4 words...

Hi, I'm from Rockingham 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

My fishing spots are so secret........... even the fish don't know where they are !!

sea-kem's picture

Posts: 15031

Date Joined: 30/11/09

Dad says you're hot.

Fri, 2016-10-14 20:05

Dad says you're hot.

____________________________________________________________________________

Love the West!

Dale's picture

Posts: 7930

Date Joined: 13/09/05

Fri, 2016-10-14 20:33

 Your a dirty old man Andy

____________________________________________________________________________

"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."

Mr Wolf

 

 

sea-kem's picture

Posts: 15031

Date Joined: 30/11/09

 Ha ha son has his 16th in

Fri, 2016-10-14 21:16

 Ha ha son has his 16th in two weeks here in the back yard. I've been told not to step out the back door lol.

____________________________________________________________________________

Love the West!

Posts: 4

Date Joined: 15/02/15

 Gee your mums hot 

Sat, 2016-10-15 08:13

 Gee your mums hot