How to Avoid a Shark Attack
Some tips to avoid a shark attack
1 Don't swim in the sea
More than 99% of all shark attacks happen in large water masses also know as oceans.The way to establish if you're in an ocean is to taste it.It should taste salty.
2 Swim with fat people
Always make sure there are fat people in the water before you enter.Chances are you can swim faster than them and save yourself.
3 Don't go in the water without a knife.
Thats to stab the nearest swimmer with when you see a shark.As soon as she/he bleeds profusely swim as fast as you can for shore and try to claim you tried to save him/her.Chances are you might get a medal for bravery.
4 Listen intently.
All sharks have a theme song-if you hear the following swim for your life. da-dam.da-dam,da-dam if it sounds like this dadam,dadam,dadam you're already gone.
5 Don't Panic
Stay calm,when a shark bites you its over and you are gone and it doesn't help you trying to survive.The people on the shore will appreciate it.They don't want to hear your mad screaming and yelling,its not nice.Think ofthe children!
UncleStu
Posts: 313
Date Joined: 18/05/08
Not bad carnarvonite
Good to see some humor on site.
mako magic
Posts: 5785
Date Joined: 03/08/05
hahaha good one mate
hahaha good one mate
alfred
Posts: 3097
Date Joined: 12/01/07
Avoid drinking holes and
Avoid drinking holes and golf courses.
Faulkner Family
Posts: 18026
Date Joined: 11/03/08
you dont have to worry about
you dont have to worry about sharks at golf courses any more its the tiger that you need to look out for
RUSS and SANDY. A family that fishes together stays together
Deckie
Posts: 1296
Date Joined: 03/04/09
Tree
Stand under a tree, they dont like shade.
And a recent study shows that more than 95% of people attacked by sharks have been wet.
lol @ dadam...dadam...dadam.... Rob
Cheers & Stay safe
HuggyB
Posts: 2515
Date Joined: 03/08/08
everyone knows
that 76% of statistics are made up.
And a staggering 89% of sharks bites will result in bleeding. If you can train yourself not to bleed in such circumstances, then you will lower your risk of the shark bite being statistically listed as an "attack" - it will therefore become an encounter which is survivable.
The Terrorist - coming to a fishing spot near you.........
jersey
Posts: 393
Date Joined: 12/06/08
For the
One percentage,sharks on land,stay away from Lawyers,some real ea-sate agents,most car dealers a few doctors and above all Politician as they may not kill you,but they will certainly screw you cross eyed,and they dont even have any four play.at least with the others you can stay away from them by going into the ocean as its professional curt-icy not to eat fellow sharks and Pollies would make the poor old shark have to like other sharks bums for the rest of its life,By the way from my opinion,through in all union organizers.they come under the heading,sly,self serving and opportunistic to put the bite on.jersey
danno
Posts: 1676
Date Joined: 12/07/09
haha good stuff
haha good stuff mate.
cheers danno
Davy_G
Posts: 525
Date Joined: 17/03/09
hahaha very nice
hahaha very nice carnarvonite.
Paul G
Posts: 5215
Date Joined: 12/12/07
We had blue bone carcasses
We had blue bone carcasses layed around the anchor today, only wrasse cam for a look, did see some nice fish while on our rounds.,
Active Gyp-Rok solutions ,Residential and commercial ceilings and walls
DieHard
Posts: 1823
Date Joined: 06/10/08
HAHA! Nice One Carnavonite,
HAHA!
Nice One Carnavonite, It wont help me Im in the water 24/7!
DieHard – The Official “Ray & Shark” Chaser!
Man Overboard
Posts: 957
Date Joined: 16/01/10
If you get nipped by a
If you get nipped by a wobby, don't tell porkies about it being a great white.
It's not a good look