Friday Funnys


carnarvonite's picture

Posts: 8622

Date Joined: 24/07/07

What Dolphins

Fri, 2019-05-31 07:18

 What dolphins?

 

Who cares if he had a hand on her shoulder, the thought was good.

Posts: 89

Date Joined: 10/11/14

 5 dolphins 

Fri, 2019-05-31 08:03

 5 dolphins 

Posts: 89

Date Joined: 10/11/14

 Maybe 6

Fri, 2019-05-31 08:03

 Maybe 6

uncle's picture

Posts: 9322

Date Joined: 10/02/07

9

Fri, 2019-05-31 08:52

 For me

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all aggressive fish love bigjohnsjigs

Posts: 40

Date Joined: 03/07/09

 A mother-in-law arrives home

Fri, 2019-05-31 09:00

 

A mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law Paddy, in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

“What happened Paddy?” she asks anxiously.

“What happened?  I'll tell you what happened!  I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip.

I get home... and guess what I found?  Your daughter, my wife Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable!

The end of our marriage.  I'm done.  I'm leaving forever!”

“Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!” says his mother-in-law.  “There is something very odd going on here.  Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation.  I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened.”

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. “Paddy, there, I told you it must be a simple explanation… She never received your e-mail!”

 

sunshine's picture

Posts: 2549

Date Joined: 03/03/09

I have a 90 proof 100 year old Virgin Islands Rum

Fri, 2019-05-31 10:46

That has a sand blasted nude engraved onto the bottle, bloody stuff is evaporating in our climate despite a cork and wax seal .....so I can see one nude and no dolphins.....if I dr8nk it I will probably see lots

Posts: 5981

Date Joined: 17/06/10

Dolphins

Fri, 2019-05-31 10:50

put me down for 7 

Posts: 37

Date Joined: 27/04/08

 9 dolphins 

Fri, 2019-05-31 11:15

 9 dolphins

 

davewillo's picture

Posts: 2223

Date Joined: 08/09/16

 Without looking at the

Fri, 2019-05-31 11:44

 Without looking at the answer to the first one I could not find any answer other than the obvious one! Clearly I am damaged goods! 

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 PGFC member and lure tragic

Posts: 630

Date Joined: 03/01/12

Dolphins

Fri, 2019-05-31 16:40

 

If you are looking for or seeing Dolphins, your looking too close.

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 Skull

Doc's picture

Posts: 691

Date Joined: 29/05/16

No dolphins, don’t get the

Fri, 2019-05-31 17:39

No dolphins, don’t get the 4th one

piston broke's picture

Posts: 776

Date Joined: 05/11/08

Dolphins are

Sat, 2019-06-01 18:07

 grey Doc 

Posts: 660

Date Joined: 28/11/16

Haha hilarious thanks  

Fri, 2019-05-31 19:11

Haha hilarious thanks  

Faulkner Family's picture

Posts: 17835

Date Joined: 11/03/08

 i see 9 dolphins. the bus

Fri, 2019-05-31 19:21

 i see 9 dolphins. the bus one is good. 

done it again with some beauties 

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RUSS and SANDY. A family that fishes together stays together

Posts: 1097

Date Joined: 19/06/14

Im perverted by the looks of

Sat, 2019-06-01 07:02

Im perverted by the looks of things .  

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 My wife understands why I clean my rods n reels in the shower....

 

Dale's picture

Posts: 7930

Date Joined: 13/09/05

Sat, 2019-06-01 09:07

There was this little Boy about 12 years old, walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened Frog on a Piece of String behind him.
He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the Door.
When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.
He said, "I want to have sex with one of the Women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it."
The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the Girls he liked.
He asked, "Do any of the Girls have any Diseases"..??
Of course the Madam said, “NO”.
He said,
"I heard all the Men talking about having to get Shots after making love with Amber. An THAT'S the Girl I want".
Since the little Boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.
He headed down the hall dragging the Squashed Frog behind him.
Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the Frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the Door.
The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only Girl in the place with a Disease, instead of one of the others"..??
He said,
"Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a Restaurant for Dinner, leaving me at home with a Baby-Sitter. After they leave, my Baby-Sitter will have Sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the Baby-Sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the Baby-Sitter's bones, and he'll catch the Disease. Then when Dad gets home from the Baby-Sitters, he and Mom will go to Bed and have Sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the Milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the Disease,
and HE'S the fucker who ran over my Pet FROG"..

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"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."

Mr Wolf

 

 

Faulkner Family's picture

Posts: 17835

Date Joined: 11/03/08

 well done. thats a beauty

Sat, 2019-06-01 16:10

 well done. thats a beauty

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RUSS and SANDY. A family that fishes together stays together

Posts: 1998

Date Joined: 16/05/09

Good one Dale

Sat, 2019-06-01 09:47

Good one Dale

piston broke's picture

Posts: 776

Date Joined: 05/11/08

Ripper

Sat, 2019-06-01 18:10

 Dale